Some Other Me
by Matrixaliesie
Summary: When an old acquaintance turns into a new friend while on a mission, Zell is reminded of who he used to be, and forced to make a decision he never wanted to have to make. (Temporarily changing the rating but it will be rated M in the future)
1. I hate you

_somewhere there's a world where you and I are man and wife, we have a child, or three, and it's just fine with me. To love that life..._

 _And somewhere there's a world where from the first we never met, or spoke, or kissed, we don't know what we missed. Or don't know yet..._

* * *

It was just before dawn in the city of Balamb. Though most of the town still slept, it was far from quiet. The seagulls cried in the harbor as ship horns signaled their entry into the Balamb's port. The bells on the buoys marking shallow waters rang as the ocean ebbed and flowed and the early morning fisherman yelled directions at each other. All of the sounds of early morning Balamb blended together with the soft whistle of the breeze and the smell of the ocean. It was the perfect time for a run, and that's exactly why Zell choose this time of day to for his morning exercise.

The streets were empty, so Zell could go as fast as he wanted and not have to worry about running into anyone. He woke up early every day just so he could have this time alone. These days, time by himself was limited.

Ever since he and his wife, Abigail, bought their house in town, they had visitors almost every day. Sometimes they were her friends, sometimes they were his, and sometimes it was family. But one thing was for sure: Time for alone, while he was in HIS house was rare.

He had tried running at night when they first moved in five years ago, but it was usually too hot, even later in the evening with the daytime humidity still heavy in the air. Running had a tendency to pump him full of energy rather than tire him out and he found it hard to sleep afterwards. So, morning it was.

As he rounded the last corner onto his street he picked up his pace, going from a steady run to a full sprint. It was trash day, so his pace was slowed slightly as he hurdled over his neighbor's trash cans, just for fun. As he approached the front door, he fished his house key out of his pocket. He had gotten good at unlocking the door without even stopping. As he went to hurl the door open, he was taken by surprise when it didn't open and ran full force into it.

The deadbolt was locked; he didn't remember doing that.

 _Abbie must be up early_ … he thought.

She always locked the deadbolt when she woke up, but he was usually back before then.

This threw off his entire morning routine. After he finished his run, he would do 100 push-ups and sit ups in the living room, then his stretches. Exercise complete, he would strip off his clothes as he made his way to the kitchen to start the coffee maker, toss his clothes into the hamper in the laundry room and jump in the shower.

He liked his routine, after all these years as a SeeD, it was the one thing he had total control over, and when it was interrupted or changed, it threw off his entire day.

It was hard to believe he'd built a life like this sometimes. Just eleven years ago, he was nothing but a rookie SeeD, and now he was one of the top SeeDs of Balamb Garden. He'd led several successful missions, aided in the liberation of Timber and though he wasn't officially an instructor, he occasionally taught classes on hand to hand combat. It was even harder to believe that the library girl with the pig tail, whom he had been so nervous to talk to when he was seventeen, was now his wife of nine years, and they had a home together. It wasn't much, but he was content.

After he got the deadbolt unlocked, he headed for the living room to finish his work-out. When he was done, went to start the coffee maker, but the coffee was already brewing. He frowned, but it was big deal. He stripped off his workout clothes and headed for the bathroom.

Abbie was already in the shower.

He now had two options: Wait for her to finish, or jump in with her. She was notorious for using all the hot water if she got to it first. It was one of the main reasons he got up before she did.

A joint shower had a potential bonus, one that he would be willing to add to his morning routine in a heartbeat if Abbie was game: shower sex. It didn't happen very often, but something he enjoyed on those rare occasions that she was up when he was. He'd even be willing to forgive her for locking the deadbolt on him.

He opted for the communal shower. He opened the shower door behind her, and hopped in. She didn't seem to notice him. Her eyes were closed, and she was just stood under the stream of water. It was hard for him to see her through all the steam, but what he could see, he liked.

He inched closer to her and gently wrapped his arms around her waist. She jumped in surprise and let out a gasp as she turned on him.

"Zell, what are you doing?!"

She laid a soft smack on his naked chest. He laughed at her pitiful attempt at punishment and wrapped his hand lightly around her wrist.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" he asked seductively as he pulled her closer to plant a kiss on her lips, "I'm taking a shower with my beautiful wife."

"I have to go to work…" she murmured.

"I'm sure you've got a little time," he said as hands wandered down to her hips and he kissed the spot just below her ear. "I miss this."

"Zell, let me finish my shower. You'll make me late."

"Oh come on Abbie," he sighed. "It's been over a month. Don't tell me you're still mad at me."

"I have to get ready for work," she said as she pushed him away. "The shower is all yours."

"Abbie…" he called, but she had already wrapped herself in a towel and fled the bathroom.

Disappointed, but not surprised, he let out a heavy sigh and leaned his head against the wall.

* * *

When he finished his shower he hopped out and wrapped his towel around his waist and carefully made his way to the sink so as not to slip on the tile floor. He wiped the steam off of the mirror and stared at his reflection. He couldn't help but chuckle at how much he had changed from his teen years. Gone was the boyish softness of his youth. His appearance was more rugged and defined, yet he was still young in spite of the crows feet and beginnings of laugh lines around the corners of his mouth. It was an unfortunate side effect of his years in a combat, he supposed.

Once he finished in the bathroom, he got dressed and went to the kitchen for his coffee and breakfast. Breakfast was another thing he usually did alone but he was happy to have company, even if Abbie had shut down his advances. It had been a while since they'd had breakfast together. Maybe, it would give them a chance to chat.

"Hey," he said when he entered the kitchen and poured himself a cup of coffee.

"Good morning," she replied, her tone flat.

He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and surveyed the contents of the fridge.

"Can I make you some breakfast?" he asked. "Maybe some eggs and toast?"

"I'd love that, but I have to get to work," she said and finished the last of her coffee. "Rain check?"

He was disappointed, but there wasn't much he could do about it. He had to work, same as him. Though her job was a little more "normal" than his was. She was the director of the Balamb Public Library and she had been for about a year. She was good at it, too. The board of directors had given her an award for her work at making the library more profitable while even though they were doing renovations.

"Rain check it is," he sighed in defeat. "Hey, how about we go out tonight? What do you think about dinner in Dollet? We could get a hotel..."

"We've got that cook out at Selphie's place tonight, remember?" she answered, though she didn't really seem that disappointed, "and you promised to make the potato salad."

"I don't remember saying I would do that!"

"Okay, so I volunteered you!" she laughed.

"Baby, you really have to stop doing that. Now Selphie is probably going to call me later to get me to make everything else."

"I guess you'll just have to tell her no then!" she laughed as she headed for the door.

"That's not the point, Abbie…" he sighed. "I have things to do today."

"Oh, you'll be fine. I'll meet you there?"

She gave him a kiss before heading to the door.

"You're not coming home before the party?" he asked as he trailed behind.

"I told you last night, we're doing inventory today," she said casually.

"No you didn't," Zell said. He was starting to get irritated.

"Yes, I did," she snapped. "Why are you making such a big deal about this?"

He could think of lots of reasons to make a big deal out of it. It wasn't the first time she'd made plans without consulting him, or volunteered him to cook without telling him. She had a habit of thinking she'd told him something when she hadn't, then she would blame his memory loss on GF use. He hadn't used GFs in ten years, so his memory wasn't the problem. He tried not to let it get to him, but it did, every time.

"I'll see you tonight, okay?" she said quietly, trying to calm him down a bit.

"Yeah…" he replied giving her another kiss, and with that she was gone.

Now he had to make potato salad. He didn't hate making it, it was just time consuming and he could think of much better ways to spend his time. Though nothing else really came to mind. He let out a heavy sigh and searched his pantry for potatoes.

The potatoes took forever to cook, so long in fact, he had time to wash, fold and put laundry away. He washed all of his dirty dishes, swept and mopped all the hard floors, vacuumed the carpet in the living room and cleaned up the back yard. Now it was nearly noon and he was bored, but the potatoes were finally done. So, that was something.

He was somewhat amazed that he'd been able to spend the entire morning alone though. He half expected a random visitor to show up. It wasn't uncommon, and Selphie was the worst offender. There was a two-month period where she would drop in every day for one reason or another. Today she was likely busy getting ready for aforementioned cook-out and wouldn't have time to bother him, so at least he had that. Almost on cue, there was a knock on the door. He didn't even get a chance to answer before Quistis barged in.

"Maybe let me get to the door next time Quis?" he muttered. "I could have been naked in here."

Quistis didn't hear him.

"I'm sorry Zell, but I really need to use your bathroom!" she said frantically as she shoved the grocery bags she was carrying into his arms.

"Take off your shoes! I just vacuumed!" he scolded before she took off down the hallway.

He rolled his eyes and let out a chuckle at her behavior. Quistis was probably the only person he wouldn't yell at for barging into his house, only because she only did it on very rare occasions. Most of the time she called beforehand or let him know days in advance that she was going to visit.

"What's with the bags of food?" he yelled down the hall.

"I need your help," she yelled back.

"Quis, I'm not coming in there…" he replied in a shaky voice.

"Not with that!" she yelled, "I need help cooking!"

Zell breathed a sigh of relief as he took the bags to the kitchen and set them on the island. Out of sheer curiosity he looked at the items inside the bags. The assortment was random, and it was hard to tell what she planned on making.

Quistis joined him in the kitchen after a few minutes with a sheepish smile.

She hadn't changed at all in the past eleven years, she still dressed like a professional and her hair was kept pulled back into a bun. She had become an instructor again after the war and that's the occupation she held ever since.

"What exactly are you making here, Quis?" he asked as he pulled a can of sauerkraut out of one of the bags.

"I told Selphie I would make baked beans for this cook-out tonight," she answered.

"...and you though sauerkraut was the way to go?" he laughed.

"That's why I need your help," she said with a smile. "You're good at this stuff. I am not."

"You didn't even get any beans!"

Quistis was not amused.

"How do you and Xu live?" he asked.

"On take-out mostly," she shrugged, "That's why I have you."

"You're lucky I still like you, AND that I happen to have everything you need to make baked beans." he said smugly as he pulled ingredients out of the cupboards. "You're welcome."

"You are a God among men, Zell," she said gratefully as she took a seat in one of the stools on the other side of the island. "I appreciate it."

"No biggie."

"Where's Abbie?" she asked. "Shopping again?"

"At work." Zell answered.

"On a Saturday?" she asked.

It never occurred to Zell that it was Saturday. Abbie never worked on weekends, at least not when he was home from missions. As far as he knew she would only work weekends when he was away; which wasn't much these past few months.

"She did say they were doing inventory…" he defended quietly. He had no reason not to believe her.

"Alright," Quistis conceded. "Is she going to be at the cookout?"

"As far as I know she is. She said she would meet me there."

Quistis seemed to notice his slight level or irritation at the subject, prompting her to give him a concerned look. He tried to ignore it, but she didn't stop.

"Is everything okay with you two?"

"We're fine."

"Are you sure? I mean, I remember what happened a few months ago…" she said as she retrieved a bottle of water from the refrigerator.

"it's not quite that bad…" he said quietly as he turned on the stove.

They'd hit a rough patch a few months prior, one that neither of them was over yet. He didn't remember how things escalated so quickly, but Abbie wanted him to become a full time instructor with regular hours and no more field work. He understood she was worried. She wanted him to be safe and she didn't want to get the news that he wouldn't come home. He understood her feelings perfectly, but she didn't understand his. He wasn't ready to slow down yet. He loved the action and the travel. He loved the way it felt coming home to her, seeing her smiling at the train station waiting to pick him up.

The difference of opinion was something that caused a lot of stress in their marriage, so much that they had frequent blow-ups about it. A few of the incidents were in public. Zell confided in Rinoa about his concerns, and of course, she told Squall. Squall, as Commander, couldn't let it go unaddressed. Even though Squall didn't want to bring it up, he had to. The discussion caused Zell to have a small mental break in Squall's office. As a result, Zell was taken off active duty and Zell and Abbie were put through mandatory marriage counseling.

They were working things out, his SeeD status was still a touchy subject for them.

"So when can you go back on active duty?" Quistis asked, playing with her bottle.

"Once I pass my psych eval, I can start anytime," he answered, his mood lifting slightly.

"Have you talked to Abbie about it yet?"

"No, I planned on talking to her about it tonight, but we've got that cookout and she's coming to it straight from work. I don't want to make another scene in front of everyone again…so," he said with a shrug.

Just discussing the subject got him all worked up. There were so many factors involved, but he didn't want to argue with Abbie anymore. He just wanted to go back to work, do his job and come home to his wife.

"When was the last time the two of you had sex?" Quistis asked.

"When was the last time you had sex?" he replied with a touch of irritation, but he instantly regretted it.

"Do you really want me to answer that question?" she laughed.

He didn't. Even though he was perfectly fine with Quistis and her sexuality, he really didn't like hearing about her sex life. He was actually pretty proud of her when she finally came out a few years ago. She was much happier and she smiled more with Xu than she ever had with any guy she'd ever dated.

"Your beans are done," he said to change the subject.

"You've been on leave for what? Two months now? Have you guys even had sex once in that time?"

Quistis was concerned about him and Zell could understand that, but he didn't really want to discuss this with her, or anyone.

"Oh, shut up…" he muttered. He dumped the beans into a container and shoved them across the counter to her.

"Zell, I wasn't trying to hurt your feelings, and I don't mean to pry." Quistis gave him a sympathetic look. "I really hope things get better for you two,"

"its fine. I'll see you later. I've got that psych eval in in like half an hour," he said as he walked her to the door.

"Good luck, and thank you for helping me out," she said.

"No problem. Don't tell Selphie," Quistis laughed, though he wasn't joking. He didn't mind helping Quistis make food, but Selphie would take it to the extreme if she knew.

"I know the rules," Quistis said and gave Zell a peck on the cheek. "See you after while."

After the whole thing about Rinoa telling Squall about the issues he was having, Quistis had quickly become his confidant. He could trust her not to tell Xu everything he told her. Even if she did, Xu kept her mouth shut about it. Zell didn't really resent Rinoa for it. She and Squall were married, they talked, or at least she talked, and he shouldn't have expected her to stay quiet about it.

Now he had to get to his appointment, and he really hoped it went well. He loved being able to spend so much time with Abbie, and he was almost positive she was elated with having her house husband doing all the house work and having dinner ready when she got home, but he missed the travel, seeing the world, and actually working.

Afterwards, he had Selphie's cookout to deal with. It wouldn't have been a big deal, but she had them every week. The only time she didn't was when she was on a mission, or there was a Garden event that needed planning. He was always grateful for those weekends.

* * *

When he got to the doctor's office he was nervous, excited, and terrified. This appointment would hopefully be his last. He didn't know what would be asked of him but he didn't care. He wanted to be done with this whole ordeal and never have to do it again. His entire future was on the line. If this didn't go well, he didn't know what would happen if he was found unfit for duty. Would he be discharged from service? Would he have to endure more therapy?

He tried several times to calm himself down but nothing really worked. He was over-thinking everything and it was almost hard to believe how impulsive he had been as a teen. Of course, he'd had a lot more on the line these days, his marriage, his house, his career, his entire life as he knew it could be over in just an hour.

"Dincht? Zell Dincht?" the nurse called.

"Here!" he replied nervously.

"This way please, she said as she led him back into the doctor's office.

* * *

He hadn't expected it to take so long and he had no idea if he had passed or even if this was something to be passed. He was more nervous now than he had been before the appointment. Now it was completely out of his hands. He had asked the doctor about how soon he'd know the results, and all Zell was told was "the commander will contact you."

Of course he could talk to Squall at the cook out, if Squall even showed up. It wouldn't be a surprise if he didn't, Squall was notorious for working extra on the days of the cookouts or other functions he wasn't forced to attend. The odds of Squall actually being there were low. Zell could just go directly to Squall, but that could be problematic as well. Squall could be in a meeting, he could be anywhere. He thought about calling several times but he didn't want to seem desperate, even though he was.

Zell spent so much time worrying and pacing his house that he hadn't noticed the time. He had to go to the cookout, and he had to be on time or risk the wrath of Selphie. That was something he wanted to avoid at all costs. He wanted to avoid as much conflict as he could, at least for the time being, especially since he anticipated blowup with Abbie. At least, if the eval went the way he hoped it had.

He couldn't even remember the last time he was this nervous. He hadn't even been this nervous on his wedding day. He also could never remember a time when he was this excited to see Squall.

By the time he had gotten to Selphie's house, he was already an hour late and he had to come up with a good excuse for it. Not a lie, but not the truth either. It was embarrassing to be this worried. Eventually he would have to go inside, or face Selphie's wrath. And that was wrath he had faced once before. Once was all it took. He had come back late from a mission and Selphie, all jacked up on pregnancy hormones, went nuts. Zell was forced to do all the cooking and cleaning for three consecutive cookouts.

It was awful. And no one said no to Selphie.

He sat in his car staring at the front door, wondering if anyone was later than he was. It was really hard to tell from the street. With a deep sigh, he decided the only way to find out was to get out of his car and face it. He slowly made his way to front door and rang the bell.

"You're late," Selphie said begrudgingly as soon as she answered.

"I've had a lot going on," Zell snapped back. She narrowed her eyes and let out a hefty sigh and rolled her eyes.

"Well… I guess its ok, you're one of the first people here," she conceded, and disappeared back inside.

He was one of the first people there? That was both a relief and terrifying at the same time. The longer it would take for people to show, the angrier Selphie would get. An angry Selphie was a scary Selphie.

"So who all is here?" Zell asked, following her out to the back patio.

"You, Xu and Quistis," She answered. "Well, and the kids of course."

How could he forget Selphie's demon spawn? He felt terrible for referring to them that way, but they were pretty awful children. Sophia, Ashlynn and Jesse had been wreaking havoc in Balamb since the day they were born. Sophia, as the oldest, was the ring leader. More than once they had set a fires and destroyed neighbors yards and parts of houses. Selphie wasn't one for discipline, and since their divorce, Irvine wasn't around enough to lay down the law. Zell had tried on several occasions to get along with her children, but he couldn't. They were just the worst.

Selphie, hadn't been a SeeD since she got pregnant with Sophia. Instead, she dove full time into organizing Garden events. which as it turned out was a full time job. She was in charge of organizing the annual Garden festival, the Winter Gala, Graduation Balls, and the occasional contracted event rental.

Her looks hadn't changed all that much from her teen years, though her style certainly had. She jumped head first into the soccer mom look, her hair was a shorter bobbed cut and no longer curled out at the end. She would always dress in capris and sleeveless Polo shirts and some sort of sandal on her feet. She had said she just wanted to look like a mom.

Irvine went back to Galbadia Garden after the divorce. He became an instructor, and even though Selphie got full custody of the kids, he got them for two weeks in the summer. No one saw much of him, and no one really knew why they had gotten divorced, but everyone suspected it was Irvine's fault. Then again, Selphie was no picnic herself. Living with her was probably a lot like living with a tiny tornado. You never knew when it might strike and tear the roof off.

"So, do you know if Squall is coming?" Zell asked, trying to hide his anxiety.

"No idea," Selphie answered in a breathy tone "Why?"

"Oh…just curious…"

Squall was possibly the only one who could miss or even be late to one of Selphie's cookouts. Zell had a feeling it was due to the fact that he had the ability to fire her if she got too out of hand. The only one who had any control over what Squall was Rinoa, though even she couldn't tell if he would show up to these gatherings or not.

"Hey…" Quistis whispered as she snuck up on Zell, "How'd it go?"

"I don't know yet. He said I would hear from Squall," he whispered back.

"And Squall hasn't called you yet?"

"If he had, I wouldn't be this… giant bundle of nerves."

He didn't want to talk about it, and by the time Rinoa showed up, he was close to freaking out.. Even if she couldn't tell him exactly what he wanted to know, she could at least tell him if Squall would show up or not.

Rinoa hadn't change much at all either, her hair was short too, though not as short as Selphie's. She had a tendency to wear short sandals and a hoodie, even though it was summer time, she claimed that it evened things out at night temperature wise.

"Zell, you're here!" she cried before running to hug him.

"Hey, Rin…"

"Hey Rin, Squall still at the office?" Quistis asked, subtly asking the question that Zell desperately wanted answer to.

"Yeah," she sighed.

"is he even showing up?!" Selphie shrieked.

"Of course he's coming!" Rinoa replied, "He said he needed to talk to Zell,"

Zell had been doing a fairly decent job so far at hiding his emotions, but that simple statement made him start to unravel. He really needed a distraction. He didn't even care what the distraction was, he just didn't want to think about the outcome . Good or bad he didn't want to think about it.

"Selphie do you have any alcohol?" he asked.

"What kind of cookout would it be if I didn't?!" she laughed.

This was likely going to be the only time Zell would feel so grateful for Selphie and her obsessive need to plan parties. At least she always had alcohol. Of course that could have been another issue entirely, but it was one that Zell wouldn't be able to address any time soon.

After accepting a generous serving of booze from Selphie, Zell retreated to a dark section of her yard to be by himself. He didn't really have anything to say to anyone anyway. He might, if they all saw each other less. He understood perfectly well why Selphie insisted on having these gatherings, but every week was a little excessive. She wanted to make sure they would all stay friends, and that was a noble cause, but Zell didn't need a party as an excuse to spend time with his friends.

The longer he sat on his own, the more people showed up, though there weren't many other people that Selphie would invite and there were only three other people that would be expected. Squall, of course, Abbie, and the target of Selphie's undying obsession, Laguna. And Laguna was the first of the three to show. Though much to Selphie's dismay, he didn't come alone.

Laguna had remarried a few years after Raine died, though no one found out about it till after the Sorceress War was over and Laguna had told Squall about his paternity. Selphie took Laguna's marriage the hardest and had been in a silly competition with Laguna wife, Lady Alana Crowley. Though Selphie seemed to be the only one who was actually aware of said competition. Of course in Selphie's eyes, that meant she was winning. Not that Lady Alana had anything to worry about. Laguna was head over heels for her and had been for twenty-four years now.

It wasn't hard to see what Laguna saw in Lady Alana; she was strong willed, she could go head to head in a heated debate with world leaders and not break so much as a sweat, she intimidated some of the most battle hardened Seeds with just a single look. She was also outstandingly beautiful and had long black wavy hair that framed her porcelain doll-like face. She usually kept her hair tied back into a Galbadian braid, but the feature that stood out the most, we're her bright emerald eyes; they were almost luminescent. No one would have guessed that she and Laguna were the same age.

Lady Alana had several men show interest in her throughout her life, but only two men ever got her attention and Laguna was only the second. The first had been her husband, prior to Laguna. He had been the Centran King for nine years before his death at the hands of Adel. It was that event which prompted her to invest a large amount of money into the resistance movement in Esthar, after she took the throne as queen regent in Centra. Rumor had it, several members of the Centran nobility were outraged that she didn't go to war with Esthar, but she was a firm believer that a lot could be accomplished in a small group with a good leader and strong will to win.

Laguna had given her endless credit for teaching him how to run the country, and continuing to help him throughout the years. After she had passed the throne on to her son a few years ago, she moved to Esthar full time. Even though they rarely ever came to Selphie's functions, that didn't stop Selphie from inviting Laguna. And she would only invite Laguna, never Lady Alana. Then would complain endlessly when Lady Alana arrived on Laguna's arm.

As if on cue, Selphie flopped herself down in the chair next to Zell with a heavy sigh and rested her chin in her hands.

"Why does everyone like her so much?" She whined.

"Because she's a likable person," Zell replied monotone, staring at his drink.

"But why?" she asked.

"Selphie… just because she's Laguna's wife is not a good reason for you not to like her," Zell answered in the same monotone voice.

"It's just not fair…"

"He married her when you were five, Selphie. There is absolutely no way you ever had a chance with him"

Zell had apparently been the one elected to talk Selphie down from the ledge this time. This was a regular occurrence anytime Lady Alana was around Selphie. Whoever Selphie sat next to at an event always had to explain that she never had a chance with Laguna, though Zell wasn't happy that he seemed to be the one to do it the past few times. Tonight he had no patience for it. He was about to unload on her about it, when something, or rather, someone else caught her attention.

"Oh, Squall is here!" if Selphie's mood had been a car, the sharp change from melancholy to excited would have given someone whiplash. But this mood change was one that he could get behind. "Squall, it's about time you showed up!"

"Selphie I just got here, and I'm hungry. Let me get some food before you yell at me," Squall scolded, making a beeline for the food table.

Squall hadn't changed his look throughout the years. He apparently hadn't seen a need too. Either that or Rinoa wouldn't let him make a change. Squall must have come directly from Garden as well, seeing as he still had his uniform on andZell took it as a good sign. Of course, he could have just been too hungry to waste time changing clothes.

Zell had wanted to run over to Squall immediately and start questioning him about his status, but that was likely not a good idea. He didn't want to ambush him, except that was exactly what he wanted to do. He had to play it cool, so, he decided to get himself some food. Keep it casual.

"Hey, what's up?" Zell asked, grabbing a plate, but all he got was a grunt in response. Squall was focused on food and only food.

"Selphie didn't make this potato salad did she?" he asked.

"Oh, no… I did."

"Good," Squall said, taking a heaping scoop and plopping it on his plate, "I need you in Deling City by morning."

"What?!" Zell felt like he was about to explode from excitement. "So, everything's cool?"

"I feel like it's pretty self-explanatory, Zell," Squall said, throwing more food on his plate. "You wouldn't be going anywhere if it wasn't."

"I-I have to talk to Abbie about it first,"

"I need to know if you're going in the next hour."

An hour? That was soon. Zell didn't even know when Abbie would finally show up. It was already almost eight o'clock. He didn't think doing inventory would take so long.

He fiddled with his phone in his pocket before he finally pulled it out. Then he fiddled with it some more, and debated the best course of action. Call or text? Both options had benefits of course. A call would get him an immediate response, but the odds of an argument over the subject were fairly high. He didn't want to fight about it, he just wanted Abbie to know he was going back to work, without it turning ugly.

Texting was definitely more discrete. A disagreement was much easier to manage that way and it was much harder to make a scene. Texting was the obvious choice, but it did have its drawbacks; if she wasn't near her phone, it could take forever for her to reply. He didn't want to miss his window.

"Are you going to be here soon?" he texted. If she didn't reply, he would call.

"No, I'm still stuck at work, sorry," she replied.

He sighed and sent his next text, "Well, I have to be in Deling City by morning, so I guess I won't get to see you before I go,"

"Why do you have to go to Deling?!" she asked.

"I was put back on active duty, Squall just told me, I'm not sure exactly what I'll be doing yet, but I gotta leave ASAP," he replied quickly.

"I thought you were going to be an instructor? I thought that's what we agreed on?"

"No… that's what you agreed to. I've told you several times that I'm not ready to make that transition yet. I wanted to talk to you about this before I leave but, you're not here. So I guess ill see you if you get home before I take off."

He didn't wait for a reply. He shut his phone off and shoved it back in his pocket and searched the yard for Squall who had retreated as far away as possible in an attempt to avoid Laguna.

"Squall, when do I leave?" Zell asked.

"Be on the train by midnight," Squall answered while trying to swallow the bite he had just taken, "I have the dossier in my car. Grab it before you leave,"

Zell nodded and looked around the yard to make sure Selphie wasn't around. He already had one woman angry with him, he didn't need to evoke the wrath of hurricane Selphie as well. He was tempted to ask Squall to run interference, but he knew the answer would be no. Thankfully, she was distracted by Laguna. Rinoa and Quistis were practically using the jaws of life to pry her off of his arm, so he was able to just sneak out without being seen.

* * *

After rushing home Zell hurried into his bedroom in a bit of a frenzy and pulled his duffle bag out of the closet and throwing clothes in without really looking. He hadn't meant to rush, he was just excited. It was his first mission in months and he was ready to get started. Plus he had a feeling Abbie was on her way home, and when she got home she would start yelling. Packing would be so much harder if she tried to fight with him.

Before leaving Selphie's place, he had briefly skimmed the dossier out of curiosity. He was going to be the SeeD in command of a small team that was already on location at the International Zoo. It was a state of the art facility that housed some of the worlds most endangered animals. It employed a handful of top biologists, veterinarians and other wildlife specialists to care for all the animals. The funding for the Zoo came from all the countries in the world, as it was a joint effort to preserve the natural wildlife populations that had been nearly wiped out during the Lunar Cry. The Zoo also had a state of the art hospital, where injured animals were treated and rehabbed before being released back into the wild.

Shortly after the opening the Zoo began to get threats from animal rights groups. Soon after that, a SeeD team from every Garden was dispatched to protect the compound.

For the next two months, Zell would be in charge of the Balamb Garden team. The former team leader went AWOL and Zell was his replacement. There were no details in the file about the missing leader. Perhaps he'd quit. Perhaps not.

"ZELL!"

Abbie's loud shriek echoed through the halls as the front door slammed.

"In the bedroom," he called back, trying to stay calm.

She stormed into the bedroom, cheeks pink and her mouth set in a thin line.

"What the hell?!" she demanded. "You can't just drop a bomb like that on me and then completely ignore my calls!"

"I shut my phone off,"

"Why would you do that?"

"Because Abbie, I'm tired of having the exact same argument over and over again," Zell said, "I don't want to be an instructor yet. I like my job. I like the travel. I'm not ready to do something different yet."

"Why are you doing this to me?" she cried, sitting on the foot of the bed burying her face in her hands.

"I'm not doing anything to you, Abs…" he sighed, kneeling down in front of her, "You know, I love you, right?"

"I love you too…Why can't you just quit…" she sobbed.

"We've already been over this," he said irritably. "You know I can't do that."

"Yes you can," she said. "You send them an email and tell Squall you quit."

"That's not how it works," Zell said. "And you know it."

Abbie sniffled and looked away, her jaw set and her eyes narrowed.

"If you really loved me, you'd quit," she said.

"Abbie- damn it," Zell said. He hated when she said that. "This is our livelihood. It isn't just about you and what you want. We have bills to pay - a mortgage. The instructor job pays half what I make a year as a SeeD. I can't just up and quit because you want me to!"

"Why are you being so selfish?" she demanded.

"I'm selfish?!" Zell cried. "You get everything you want from me. I do all the housework, all the cooking, I make sure the bills are paid and what do you do? You go shopping and spend all your money on clothes you don't even wear! And what do I get out of it? Huh? Tell me, what do I get out of this? I get called selfish. Well, fuck you!"

Tears streamed down her face and Zell stepped forward to brush them away. She wrenched from his grasp and retreated toward the wall. Zell knew he'd been too harsh, but he was too pissed to care. As usual, it was all about what she wanted. In her head, he was the selfish one. Even though he bent over backward to make sure she was happy and all she was interested in was what he could do for her. He was the housekeeper, the personal chef, the mechanic and every other thing she needed from him.

"I do everything around here," he continued, so angry his eyes burned with tears of his own. "I do everything, and that's not enough. I'm tired of being the bad guy here. You won't even touch me, for fucks sake! You act like you can't stand me, like I'm some creepy pervert for wanting you and I don't know what I did wrong!"

"I hate you…" she whispered.

"I hope you don't mean that," he said as he stuffed a pair of cargo pants into his bag.

"Don't go," she demanded and grabbed the pants he'd put in his bag. She threw them across the room and glared at him. "I need you to stay. I want you to stay."

"I have to go, Abbie. It's not a choice."

"You just want to get away from me," she cried. "You're punishing me, aren't you?"

"Why the fuck -" Zell cut himself off and retrieved the pants from the floor. "This is my JOB Abbie!"

"That's all you care about, isn't it?" she said. "Your job, your job, your job, you, you youyouyou!"

"Goddamn it, I don't have time for this," he said. "Are you done?"

She sized a vase of the dresser and hurled it at him. He ducked as it passed by and hit the wall with a loud crash, less surprised than he should have been. It wasn't the first time she'd thrown something at him, but it was the first time it was an expensive thing.

"What the hell?! Stop it!"

She wasn't done. A lamp came at him this time. It hit the nightstand and bounced to the floor, the shade bent at a funny angle as it rolled across the floor.

"This is why we can't have nice things, Abs," Zell said. "Stop throwing shit at me!"

"I HATE YOU!" she screamed. This time, it sounded like she meant it.

"GOOD!" He roared back. "Then I guess you won't miss me, will you?"

"Fine! See if I care," she said. "Just go!"

She dissolved into tears and slumped onto the bed, her face in her hands.

"Maybe this is a good thing," Zell said as he tried to calm himself. "Maybe we just need... some time apart."

Abbie looked up at him with big, scared eyes.

"What are you saying?"

"You know what I'm saying," he sighed, "I won't be in any danger. Hell, I'll be patrolling a zoo for the next two months. Not that exciting. No reason to worry."

"Get out," she said quietly.

"What?"

"You heard me," she said. "If you're going to go, get your things and leave. Go get shot for all I care. Just...leave."

"Abbie -"

"Now, Zell."

Zell was so angry, he was shaking but he couldn't say another word. Without so much as a glance back at her, he picked up his duffle and left.

He made sure to slam it on his way out.

* * *

Big thank you to Lecritic for beta reading/editing!

Just so everyone is aware, this is meant to be a kind of alternate version of I'll be your knight and so far I'm really happy with how this is going to go down. Reviews are always appreciated!


	2. Mashed Potatoes

The train ride was much longer than Zell remembered it being. Of course, it had been quite a few years since he'd been to Deling City and even longer since he'd taken the train. Every other time he was sent on missions to Deling he was with a large group, and they usually took the Ragnarok. It was too expensive to use for less than ten people.

He tried several times to get some sleep, but every time he closed his eyes he would think about how he left things with Abbie. He never liked fighting with her, and he especially didn't like leaving things as up in the air as he did. They had their share of arguments before, but none of them ended with anyone walking out the door. One of them might be mad for a few days, but they never left.

Zell was scared, he messed up and didn't know how to fix it.

He tossed and turned on his bunk, only slightly grateful that he had access to them and kept checking his phone to see if he had any messages from Abbie. There weren't any. Not one single message missed call or voicemail. He thought for a moment that maybe he should call her, then that thought turned into sending a text. His mind kept going back and forth, but he ended up not doing anything but mindlessly switching between apps on his phone.

He could barely hold his eyes open, but his mind was racing so much that sleep was impossible. He was still nowhere near Deling City or even timber for that matter. Since he was also nowhere near sleep, he figured he might as well hit the bar. It was one bright side to the train switch in Dollet.

The bar car was thankfully empty, decorated similarly to the SeeD cabin with red wall and gold trim, a few sofas and arm chairs. It wasn't anything fancy, but it had a fully stocked bar, and that's all he needed.

Unfortunately, there was no bartender. Perhaps it was karma, or it was because it was late and most likely all the other passengers were asleep, so there wasn't a point in having a bartender over-night. So, Zell had no drink and guilt.

He let out a heavy sigh before sinking into one of the sofas and burying his face in his hands.

He was too absorbed in his thoughts that he didn't notice anything around him. He didn't see when a Galbadian shepherd managed to get in, but he did when the dog licked his face.

"Um… hello?"

He reached out his hand for the dog to sniff, which the dog did, but it also gave Zell yet another lick.

"Not gonna lie, I was not expecting to run into a dog at a bar," he chuckled lightly. "And now I'm talking to a dog in a bar… this isn't exactly a high point for me. Don't get me wrong; I love dogs it's just… why am I explaining this to you?"

The dog tilted its head back and forth as if it were curious about what Zell said.

"What do you think pooch? Should I call my wife?"

The dog let out a soft grumble.

"Is that a yes or no?" Zell laughed.

It felt good to smile even if it was just for a brief moment when the dog made the same sound.

"I feel like you think you're helpful, but you aren't," Zell said scratching the dog behind the ears.

The dog shook his head, and his tags jingled on his collar, Zell noticed and checked for a name.

"Ruger, huh? Ruger, do you think I should call my wife?" He asked again.

Ruger tilted his head again.

"I'm not going to get a straight answer from you am I?"

Ruger barked once and started vigorously wagging his tail.

"I thought so," Zell sighed, before leaning back. "You should probably go back to your master unless you know how to mix drinks," he laughed.

The dog grumbled before leaving with a huff.

Zell felt a little better. He still didn't know what to do about Abbie though. There wasn't much he could do; he could call her, but she likely wouldn't answer.

He decided the best option would be to put it out of his mind and give her a day or two to cool down. Even if she did answer, she would be too angry to listen. It would just turn into another argument with hurtful words neither of them meant.

It was apparent Zell wasn't going to get that drink he desired so he went back to his cabin to try sleeping once again.

* * *

The dossier said one of the SeeDs already stationed at the Zoo would be meeting him at the station in Deling. It didn't say who the SeeD would be so Zell didn't know who to look for when he got off the train. A small part of him was hoping to see the dog, Ruger, again but he didn't. More than likely the dog and his owner got off the train in Timber.

He made his way to the train station lobby looking for someone in a SeeD uniform, not that he knew if his contact would be in uniform. He was hoping they would just recognize him. That was assuming the contact knew who he was. He probably would have more information if this weren't a last minute assignment.

Zell was absentmindedly searching the room, not seeing anything, he was too tired to take notice of his surroundings when he felt an arm snake around his neck and hold tightly.

Zell's martial arts training kicked in, and he threw an elbow backward to make a connection with a ribcage. The attacker gasped in pain, releasing Zell who was about to throw a punch when the attacker held up a hand in surrender while holding his abdomen in pain.

"Dude," he gasped.

"Irvine?" Zell lowered his fists and chuckled at the sight of Irvine doubled over in pain.

"It's been a while," Irvine smiled, still gasping and unable to stand straight up.

It had been years since Zell had seen Irvine. If memory served correctly, Zell hadn't seen him since his divorce with Selphie and Irvine was back in Balamb visiting the kids.

He looked different. His hair was short and resembled Squall's; he still sported his black Stetson, but it faded through the years. He traded his long duster for a black leather jacket; he didn't wear chaps anymore, just jeans and a button down shirt and still wore cowboy boots.

"What are you doing here?" Zell asked.

"I'm here to pick you up," Irvine answered.

"Oh," Zell replied, "sorry I hit you; you snuck up on me."

"It's alright, who needs unbroken ribs," Irvine chuckled, still in pain.

"So how have you been, man?" Zell asked.

"Aside from right now? pretty good," Irvine answered, finally able to straighten out. "What about you?"

"Ugh, how much time you got?" Zell laughed darkly.

"That bad?" Irvine chuckled, "I heard about your incident a few months ago, hard to believe it could get any worse than that."

"You have no idea," Zell shook his head. "But what about you? I thought you were an instructor?"

Irvine shrugged: "I was, but with child support, alimony and the cost of living I was barely making ends meet, I didn't have any choice but to go back to the field."

Zell let out a sigh and shook his head in agreement. He was in a similar situation except for alimony and child support, so far at least. It was one of the reasons Zell was now in Deling City and the reason his wife wasn't talking to him, though he still hadn't tried calling her yet. He would have to try when he got to his hotel, whenever that was.

"So tell me about this Zoo," Zell stated as he tossed his duffle bag in Irvine's trunk.

"It's huge," Irvine replied.

"I'm going to need a little more than that," Zell laughed.

"There isn't much to it," Irvine explained. "The compound consists of the animal enclosures, wildlife safari, and Veterinary Research Hospital. Galbadia and Balamb take the night shift and Trabia handles security during the day with a private contractor. Balamb patrols the interior where the enclosures and hospital are, and Galbadia manages the watch towers of the outer perimeter."

"Sounds easy enough," Zell nodded. "Is that where we're going now?"

"Yup, they have a particular uniform they want all of us to wear, and I've got to get you security access," Irvine said.

"So I guess it's to the hotel after?"

"Hotel? Why stay in a cold hotel when you can stay with me!" Irvine laughed.

 _Maid service, room service and free cable,_ Zell thought.

Irvine made a convincing argument. It was more cost effective just regarding food. If Zell had stayed in the hotel for the duration of his stay, he would have had to pay for every meal and that would have added up quickly. Irvine had a fully stocked kitchen and a guest room; Zell would have been an idiot to refuse.

The ride to the compound was not quiet by any measure. Irvine filled Zell in on all he was up to. Irvine had recently bought a house across town and was remodeling a lot of it and was happy to have Zell for some help. He'd started dating a musician that frequently performed at a country western bar. Irvine promised to introduce them.

It took over an hour to get to the compound, and when they arrived, Zell was in complete awe of its size. He had expected it to be large, but he hadn't expected something that was bigger than the entire town of Balamb.

The main gate wasn't open due to the operating hours of the Zoo, but the back entrance was available to staff at all hours, provided they had an access key.

"What goes on here?" Zell asked.

"What do you mean?" Irvine chuckled.

"Well something major would have to happen here if animal rights activists are enough of a threat to warrant hiring SeeDs from all three Gardens," Zell elaborated.

Irvine laughed: "Dude, this place is 100% for the conservation of endangered wildlife. These 'nutjobs' are up in arms simply because there is a fence to keep the monsters out; they don't understand that the animals are safer inside where they won't be hunted!"

"You seem pretty passionate about this," Zell smiled.

There wasn't much outside of women and firearms that Irvine would get excited about, it was refreshing that he had other interests. There was a slight irony that Irvine would be passionate about wildlife conservation when he would go hunting religiously.

"And we're mostly there to protect the animals from monsters, the activists are too scared to do anything other than sending nasty letters," Irvine added.

"Did you volunteer for this mission?" Zell laughed.

"Of course I did!" Irvine answered quickly.

"Was it the animals?" Zell asked. "Or was it a woman?" He added before Irvine could answer.

Irvine remained silent, seemingly ignoring the question altogether.

"It was a little of both," Irvine muttered.

"Was she worth it?" Zell laughed.

"It's not what you think," Irvine explained. "She's more like a sister to me."

"I was not expecting you to say that about a woman," Zell admitted.

"What did Squall tell you about the guy you're replacing?" Irvine asked.

"Just that he went AWOL," Zell answered.

Irvine chuckled: "That isn't really what happened."

"What did happen?"

"I'll tell you later, right now we gotta get you your equipment," Irvine said as he stepped out of the car.

Zell followed after him into a large, gray brick, windowless building.

The building was on the outskirts of a group of larger buildings all of which seemed to serve a different purpose judging by the signs. The building they entered didn't have a sign, though.

"What's this place?" Zell asked.

"This is where SeeD equipment is stored," Irvine explained. "SeeDs are the only ones with access, so the first thing we have to do is get you a badge."

Irvine led him down the empty corridor to an office that had a camera set up and connected to a computer. This was something Zell was somewhat familiar with; he had to update his SeeD ID every few years, and in cases like this he had to get an ID for the company he was contracted to.

The entire process was pretty straight forward. Irvine created his ID then showed him where the equipment was stored, assigned him a locker and handed him the uniform. The uniform was simply a black t-shirt and cargo pants with black combat boots.

"Every night you come in, you'll get dressed, grab one of these kevlar vests and check out your firearm," he explained.

"Firearm?" Zell was surprised by that.

"None lethal," Irvine chuckled. "They shoot tranquilizer darts, it's too risky to have live rounds in a Zoo full of endangered animals."

"That's a relief. Hopefully, I won't have to use it," Zell laughed.

"Hopefully," Irvine replied.

Irvine took Zell on a brief tour of the Zoo to show him where the Balamb SeeDs patrol and where Zell would patrol.

The entire place was fantastic; Zell was impressed by all the state of the art equipment and according to Irvine, all the employees, along with the animals, were treated extremely well.

Since it was government funded admission was free, so it was always packed on the days it was open. On those days most of the security was handled by the multiple monitoring centers around the compound. The team leaders were stationed at the centers.

Since the Balamb SeeDs patrolled the interior of the compound, Zell would be set up in the hospital monitoring the cameras. Irvine explained that a veterinarian was on staff 24/7 and would be posted at the security desk with him in case something happened to one of the animals.

Irvine was posted at the gate.

Everyone had radios to maintain communication, even the vet and they had to check in every hour to a location and status.

Everything was so well organized. Zell was glad he would be able to jump into this so quickly.

When they were finally done and back in Irvine's car, Zell was thoroughly exhausted. He had only gotten about an hour of sleep on the train, and all he wanted was to sleep for days. He was glad he didn't have to start his patrol for another day.

"Let's go get a drink!" Irvine said cheerfully.

Zell wanted to refuse, but he did want some alcohol. He even wanted to talk to Irvine about what happened with Abbie before he left. Not that Irvine would offer any useful advice, but he was a listening ear, and he would likely be on Zell's side.

"Yeah, okay," Zell said with a shrug.

Zell leaned his seat back so he could rest his eyes for a bit on the way to the bar, thankfully, Irvine ran out of things to talk about for a while.

It felt like only a few minutes before Irvine was shaking Zell awake. He rubbed his burning eyes and sat back up.

Irvine said nothing, just got out of the car and headed inside. Zell took a moment to acclimate himself before following.

Once inside, Zell wasted no time ordering his drink. He didn't even join Irvine at a table till he got it. He was thankful the bar was mostly empty, of course, it was a Sunday afternoon, so it was to be expected.

Zell wasn't surprised that Irvine brought him to a dive bar, but this one took the cake, it was one broken floorboard away from being condemned. The jukebox was perpetually stuck on country music cobweb were all through the rafters and Zell was almost sure he saw mold, but he didn't care. He got the drink he desperately needed.

"What's been going on with you?" Irvine asked as soon as Zell sat down.

Zell sighed and started filling him in on all his marital drama. From his breakdown all the way to the fight they had before he got on the train. He barely even paused the entire time, and by the time he finished, he felt like a giant weight lifted off of him. It helped that Irvine seemed to understand exactly how he felt.

"That's rough, man," Irvine sighed.

"I don't know if I should call her and apologize or not," Zell admitted.

"No, don't do that," Irvine said waving his hand dramatically.

"Why?"

"This is a power play! Selphie used to do this kind of thing to me all the time. You are admitting fault if you call her, and she will just keep walking all over you," Irvine explained.

"That can't be a real thing," Zell laughed.

"You can believe me if you want but tell me this, would you feel better if she calls you, or if you call her?"

"What kind of question is that?" Zell laughed uncomfortably.

"It's a simple question, dude," Irvine smiled.

"I'm not answering it!"

"You're not answering it because you don't want to admit that you would be happier if she called you," Irvine accused. "Am I right?"

"Is there a waitress?" Zell asked. "I need another drink."

"I'm right," Irvine smiled.

"Change the subject," Zell demanded.

"Fine, what do you want to talk about?"

Zell thought for a moment before answering.

"You said you volunteered for this assignment because of a woman?"

"Only partially," Irvine shrugged.

"What's the story?" Zell asked.

"It's long," Irvine laughed.

"I've got plenty of time," Zell challenged.

"You know that guy you're replacing?" Irvine asked but didn't wait for Zell to answer before continuing. "Well a few months ago this vet started working at the Zoo, and he kinda had a crush on her."

"What does that have to do with you?" Zell interrupted.

"I'm getting to that," Irvine said. "Anyway, she didn't reciprocate his feelings, and he didn't take it to well. He started to harass her anytime she was at work to the point where she actually had to switch from day to night shift every few days to avoid him!"

"Shit…"

"Yeah! He didn't take too kindly to that either; he started showing up at her house and forced her to move twice," Irvine explained. "So she calls her parents crying, ready to quit and move out of the country just to get away from this asshole."

"And they contacted Garden?" Zell asked.

"Dude this is like, the best part. Guess who her parents are," Irvine prompted.

"Who?"

"Laguna and Alana," Irvine announced proudly.

"What?! This guy was harassing Squall's little sister?!"

Zell had only met Squall's sister, Aliesie, once, and that was eleven years ago. He hadn't heard much of her since then. The most Zell knew about her was she went to college, he couldn't even remember what she looked like back then. Not that it mattered, she most likely didn't look like that anymore.

"They called you?" Zell asked.

"Yeah, and Squall. The guy was supposed to go back to Garden for a code of conduct review, but he took off and no one knows where he is," Irvine answered.

"Wow," Zell sighed. "How's Aliesie handling this?"

"She's freaked out! Laguna bought her trained guard dogs to protect her when she's at home," Irvine said before getting up to get them both a beer.

It made sense why Squall wanted Zell here. He wanted someone he could trust around his sister. Who better than a married man? Of course, that didn't explain Irvine, but he was at least someone Squall trusted. Laguna too for that matter since it was Laguna that called Irvine.

Zell and Irvine stayed at the bar for a few more rounds and by the time they finally decide to leave it was well after dark, and they were both too drunk to drive. Zell offered to call a cab for them, but Irvine insisted in having his girlfriend, Selene, pick them up.

Selene, however, was busy and Irvine took offense to that. So he started fighting with her on the phone in the middle of the street.

"Dude, less jus' call a fuckin cab dude!" Zell slurred from the curbside.

"Shut yer cornhole I'm talking to mah woman!" Irvine yelled back. "I am to drink to drive right now Karen!" he shouted into the phone.

"Who's Karen?" Zell laughed.

"Your face is Karen!" Irvine yelled back.

"Are you even on the phone anymore?" Zell asked.

"Naw, she hung up on me when I called her Karen," Irvine laughed.

"Then why is the phone still on your ear?"

Irvine hadn't even noticed he was still holding the phone up to his ear and pulled it away laughing.

"Dude I'm fuckin starvin," Irvine sounded like he already had a mouth full of food.

"You know what I would kill for right now?" Zell asked when Irvine plopped down next to him. "Mashed potatoes."

"Sweet potatoes," Irvine added.

"Baked potatoes," Zell sang.

"PO-TA-TO CHIPS!" Irvine sang in the same tune before they both burst into a fit of uncontrollable laughter. "I know the perfect place we can eat."

Irvine stood back up and pulled Zell up with him and staggered down the sidewalk with Zell close behind.

They staggered down the street for what felt like hours before finally arriving at a tiny old fashioned diner. It was almost as bad as the dive bar and likely barely passed any health inspection, but Zell was too drunk and too hungry to care.

"Why do you like shitty places like this?" Zell asked.

Irvine could always be trusted to find the grungiest bar or restaurant in any town. He would frequently drag people to these run down establishments claiming that it "helped the economy."

The only thing those places even remotely helped were the local scumbags looking for a place to hide or covered for crime rings.

"They have a particular flavor you just can't get anywhere else!" Irvine answered happily.

"That's called dirt," Zell retorted.

Irvin made a series of disgruntled sound in response and sat down in an empty booth and Zell followed suite.

The glance at the menu laying on the table for a moment before a waitress, an older woman with bottle dyed red hair approached them with her order pad.

"What can I get you?" She asked in a monotone voice.

"Well Laverne, I will have eggs and toast with the biggest plate of mashed potatoes you can find me," Irvine replied with a huge grin.

The waitress rolled her eyes at him as she jotted down his order, seemingly slightly irritated that he called her Laverne when her nametag read "Peg."

"How do you want your eggs?" She asked.

"Scrambled," he answered.

"How dark do you want your toast?" She asked.

"As black as my heart!" Irvine yelled.

She wasn't amused.

"And you?" She asked Zell.

"Just mashed potatoes and a glass of water," Zell answered.

Peg gave him a brief confused look before rolling her eyes and walking away without another word.

Irvine lounged down in the booth and covered his face with his hat and started singing a country song in a high pitched voice.

It didn't take long for Peg to come back with their food which Zell found unnerving. He figured they likely cooked it in advance and she just slapped it on a plate and heated it up to serve. They both thanked her for the food and started to eat but after the first bite Zel lost his appetite. The potatoes were hard as a rock and crunchy.

He spit out the small bite back onto his plate and as soon as he did he felt something splatter on his cheek. He wiped it away and looked to see Irvine with a childish grin plastered across his face and a spoon full of potato ready to launch.

Zell narrowed his eyes and grabbed a large handful and threw it in retaliation.

They kept throwing food at each other, laughing like children until Peg emerged from the kitchen.

"Get out!" She yelled.

They both ran as fast as they could out the door afraid of what the woman could do to them if they stayed.

They continued through the streets, tripping over trash cans along the way. Zell was following after Irvine as he navigated the maze of Deling City and when they finally slowed to a walk they were in a residential area.

"Where are we?" Zell asked looking around at the rows of brownstone buildings.

"Just making a bit of a pit stop," Irvine explained as he climbed over the wrought iron fence of one of the buildings.

"Pit stop?"

"Yeah, we're gonna stop and see Selene," Irvine laughed, staggering to the door and banging on it as loud as he could.

"Dude, what are you doing?" Zell hissed.

"Selene!" Irvine shouted.

"Irvine stop it!" Zell hushed.

"Selene!" Irvine yelled even louder.

Zell looked around to see if anyone was nearby before running to tackle Irvine who had moved back into the street screaming Selene over and over. Several porch lights had come on, so he had gotten the attention of at least a few of the woman's neighbors and given how nice the neighborhood was it was likely at least one had called the police.

"Selene!" Irvine tried yelling again, but it was muffled by Zell's arm that was wrapped firmly around his head.

Zell had himself wrapped tightly around Irvine to keep him from disturbing more people. Unfortunately, they were both laying in the middle of the street and would have to move soon. Zell was tempted just to knock Irvine out and carry him to a hotel till he sobered up but that thought was stopped short when he heard one of the doors open.

"Irvine?" A woman's voice called quietly.

"Selene!" Irvine replied.

"What the hell are you doing?!" She hissed back. "Get inside!" She ordered.

Zell let go of Irvine, and he staggered to his feet and did as the woman requested, Zell followed quickly after into the warm house.

"What is wrong with you!" She demanded, repeatedly smacking Irvine.

She was a mousy girl with bright red hair brown eyes. Not at all what Zell was expecting, though he didn't know what to expect. The only girl he'd ever seen Irvine with was Selphie, and this girl looked nothing like her. For one, Selene dressed in a much more conservative way. She was dressed just in a button down flannel shirt and jeans.

"You hung up on me!" Irvine accused.

"So you think the best way to respond is to come here and shout my name in the street?!" She yelled.

"Well, I couldn't remember what her new address was!" Irvine slurred.

 _Her?_ Zell thought.

"How could you forget? You asked me three times on the phone and even told me to text it to you not ten minutes ago!"

"I'm drunk!" He yelled angrily.

"I noticed!" Selene shouted.

"Dude, chill out," Zell said trying to defuse the situation.

"No, I will not chill out," Irvine yelled.

His yelling cause an unexpected reaction from upstairs. The two dogs that were apparently watching from the top of the stairs started growling and barking at him.

"I think you need to calm down," Zell whispered.

"Quit telling me what to do, bitchtits!"

"Hey!" Zell yelled.

"Why are you so worked up?" Selene asked.

"You hung up on me!" Irvine yelled, throwing his arms in the air.

"So what?" She laughed. "You said you would help get Aliesie moved, and then you canceled at the last minute."

"Oh, it was not last minute," Irvine said with a scoff.

"You called me this afternoon and told me you couldn't help because you had to pick up Zell and show him around," Selene explained.

"That doesn't mean hang up on me," Irvine mumbled.

"You are such a baby," she laughed.

"I'm your baby," he flirted then leaned down to whisper something in her ear.

Before Zell knew what was happening, they were up the stairs and slamming a door leaving another woman, who Zell vaguely recognized, spinning into the banister.

Her long black hair was pulled into a loose braid that rested on her shoulder, and she had on a white tanktop with a cream colored loose fitting knit sweater, cut off denim shorts, and no shoes. She gave him a confused look as she came down the stairs with both Galbadian shepherd dogs following at her heels.

"Hi," he said awkwardly.

"Hi?" She replied.

"Aliesie right?" He asked, she nodded. "I'm—"

"I know who you are," she interrupted, brushing past him.

"Oh you do?" He laughed.

"Yes, we've met before," she replied curtly.

"Oh, yeah," he said, following her into the kitchen.

He barely remembered meeting her. It was so long ago, and they were both teenagers, she was only about twelve at the time, though he couldn't remember her exact age they only met the one time.

"What have you been up too since then?" He added with a laugh.

She gave him a dead stare from across the island and then just rolled her eyes.

"What are you doing here anyway?" She asked opening up a box.

"I've lost all control of my life," he confessed. "My wife hates me, and apparently I don't have the ability to tell Irvine no."

"I'm failing to see how you've lost control," she said.

"Well, my wife hates me," Zell repeated.

"That doesn't mean you've lost control of your life," Aliesie laughed." You've fucked up your life, but you have lost control."

"Toosh," Zell slurred.

"Toosh? What is toosh?" She asked.

"You know, toosh, another way of saying good point," he explained.

"the word you're looking for is touché," she corrected.

"Potato, potahto," he shrugged. "What would you call losing control of your life?"

"I'd call the fact that this is the third time I've had to move this year using up all my savings to do so. All because a guy couldn't take 'I'm not interested, please leave me alone' as an answer and caused me to ask my parents for help losing control of my life," she explained.

"Toosh," he replied.

"Stop saying it like that," she scolded.

Zell couldn't help but start laughing at her irritation which seemed only to irritate her more. Then his laughter changed to simply laughing at how the word "toosh" sounded.

"So, your dogs are cool," he said after he finally stopped laughing.

"Thanks, I've had them since this morning," she said flatly.

"This morning? Were they on the train last night?" He asked.

"Probably," she answered. "Why?"

"I think I met one of them," he replied.

"Which one?" she asked.

"Ruger."

Before she could reply, one of the dogs barked in response then went to sit against Zell's leg.

"I guess this is Ruger," Zell laughed. "What's the other one's name?"

"Colt," Aliesie answered.

"Colt and Ruger…" Zell replied. "Aren't those types of guns?"

"Yup, my father's stupid sense of humor at work," she answered.

"Why didn't he just buy you a gun?" Zell laughed.

"he wanted to, I wouldn't let him," she answered.

"Toosh," he said again causing Aliesie to glare at him. "I should go, any chance you know when Irvine will be back down?"

"Not likely anytime soon, they do this every time I move," she sighed.

"Do what?" Zell asked.

"Violate my bedroom," she answered angrily.

"Gross," Zell shuddered. "I guess I'm staying at the hotel then."

"You can sleep on my couch if you want, its right in there," she offered.

That was a tempting offer that Zell couldn't refuse. He was exhausted, and it was a soft place to lay his head before he knew it, he was falling asleep on the big red sofa.

* * *

Yay! Its done! thanks to Siobhane for beta reading!


	3. Save myself

The next morning, he woke to the sound of what he thought was a blender and pots and pans banging around.

His head was pounding; every noise was like a sonic boom. He jumped up and immediately regretted it, his stomach churned and threatened to void its contents.

He grumbled as he tried to make his eyes focus in the bright light but failed. He grabbed his head to try and steady his spinning brain and grumbled in pain. He swung his legs over the side of the couch trying to remember the events of the previous night and groaned again when he remembered that he showed up drunk to Aliesie's new house with Irvine.

Zell couldn't remember if he did anything embarrassing, but he knew that since he was with Irvine the likelihood was high and that was enough for him to feel guilty.

He groaned again as he rubbed his face when something wet hit his cheek. He moved his hands away to see two dogs panting excitedly.

Another loud crash came from the other room, and one of the dogs barked in response. Zell staggered to his feet and into the room where the noise was coming from to investigate.

"Good Morning!" Aliesie yelled, slamming a heavy pan into a cupboard.

"Do you have to be so loud?" Zell groaned grabbing his forehead.

"Oh, I'm sorry, am I too loud in my house?"

Zell grumbled quietly. He couldn't say anything in protest, it was her house, and he had arrived uninvited.

"Sorry for whatever happened last night," Zell said.

"Thank you," she sighed.

"In my defense, it was Irvine's idea," Zell chuckled which made his headache worse.

"I have no doubt about that," Aliesie sighed.

"Where is he anyway?" he asked.

"Still in my bedroom with Selene," she said angrily.

"Is that a common occurrence?" Zell asked.

"Every time I've had to move he's come up with some reason why he can't help then shows up drunk, they fight then make up in my bed," she grumbled.

"want me to go wake him up?" Zell offered.

"Enter at your risk," Aliesie warned.

Zell was tempted to ask what she meant by that, but he wanted to leave to get breakfast and had no idea where he was. Plus his bag was still in the trunk of Irvine's car which was still parked who knows where.

He bounded up the stairs and knocked on the door he vaguely remembered Irvine and Selene darting into the night before. No answer. He knocked louder and still got no answer.

"Irvine?" he called as he opened the door. He immediately regretted that decision.

Irvine was sprawled across the bed completely nude. Zell yelled in disgust as he slammed the door shut again.

"Told you so!" Aliesie called from the kitchen.

Zell shuddered and let out an exasperated sigh as he headed back down the stairs. He wasn't sure what to do with himself, he didn't know how to get back to the bar where Irvine's car was. He was starving he'd already imposed on Aliesie too much already to ask her for food. Then an idea hit him.

"Hey," he said walking back into the kitchen, "would like to join me for breakfast?"

"You're just hungry aren't you?" she asked.

"Yes, but I also wanted to apologize for barging into your house and passing out on your couch," he chuckled.

She took a moment to think about his offer before letting out a sigh.

"I guess," she answered.

"I'll pay," he assured.

"Good," she said grabbing her bag off the table.

"You would need to drive though," Zell sighed.

"Why? There's a café a few blocks down. We can walk," Aliesie responded.

A brief thought crossed Zell's mind. The diner Irvine took him to was within walking distance of Aliesie's place. The food was decent in drunken standards, but he wouldn't want to know how it tasted sober.

"Last night Irvine took me to this place that was kinda…" Zell trailed off, at a loss for the perfect adjective.

"Gross?" Aliesie offered as she stepped onto the sidewalk.

"Yes!" He responded, "this isn't the same place is it?"

"No, the place were going is only open for breakfast and lunch," she assured.

Zell sighed in relief and happily followed after Aliesie.

She walked fast. Something for which, Zell was grateful. If she was slow, he was likely to die of starvation before getting to the café.

He felt awkward walking in silence, but he was too hungry to come up with any good conversation.

The café was nothing like the dive Irvine took him to the night before. The place was nicely decorated and the food smelled intoxicating. What he liked more than anything else was that it was clean.

Zell felt his stomach grumble as they walked in the door and made their way to an empty table.

Everything on the menu looked delicious, and Zell had to force himself not to order everything. The same could not be said for Aliesie since she ordered three different meals.

"Is your leg hollow?" he joked after the waiter left.

"I don't eat much throughout the day, so I eat a lot at breakfast," she explained.

He didn't know what kind of response he expected to get; she was Squall's sister after all. Introversion must have been in the genes.

He didn't know what to talk about with her. At least with Irvine, Zell didn't have to provide conversation topics. If she was anything like her brother, small talk was a non-starter.

"Soooo," he decided to just go with whatever popped into his head after that, "why did you become a vet?"

He was a little impressed with himself for not asking something stupid.

"I originally wanted to be a doctor, but I don't like people," she answered.

"So you went with veterinarian?" he chuckled.

"I like animals, they don't ask me to look at things when they see me out in public," she replied.

"Did that happen?"

"I was shadowing at a doctor's office during the summer before starting medical school to make sure it was a career I wanted to pursue," she sighed.

"And one of the patients saw you out in public," Zell said making the connection.

Aliesie tapped her finger on her nose and winced.

"He lifted his shirt in a grocery store and asked me to look at a mole," she explained.

"That doesn't seem too terrible," Zell said.

"The mole was his nipple," Aliesie added.

Several impulses hit Zell at once. The urge to laugh, which he had to suppress because he just took a drink of coffee and didn't want to spit it on Aliesie. He wanted to ask how someone could go there whole life not knowing what their nipple looked like or that they hadn't noticed it before. What was most shocking to Zell was the fact that the man only noticed one of his nipples and felt he needed to ask someone what it was.

"After that, I went home and immediately called to transfer to veterinary school," she explained while Zell continued to come to terms with nipple man.

"Yeah, that's… wow," he could find the words to describe how weird he found that story, so he just drank his coffee, and they fell back into silence.

Zell reached in his pocket for his phone and found the screen smashed but still working. He let out a soft groan as he checked for messages that weren't there. Not a single text, voicemail or missed call from Abbie. He did have an email from Squall asking him to decide who on the Balamb team will take over leadership after his two months was up. He sighed again as he shoved his phone back into his pocket.

"Something wrong?" Aliesie asked as he popped his knuckles before burying his face in his hands.

"Its… nothing," he wanted to talk to someone about it that wasn't Irvine, but he didn't want to be a broken record.

"If you say so," she said.

He couldn't tell if she wanted to know and didn't want to pry or she was just asking to be polite and didn't care what was bothering him. He did need to talk about it though.

"It's, my wife," he didn't care if he sounded like a broken record, he needed to figure out what he was going to do.

"You said something last night about her hating you," Aliesie replied.

"Yeah," he mumbled.

"Why do you think she hates you?" she asked.

"She told me she does," he answered.

"That doesn't mean she does," Aliesie laughed, "what was the context? Was it out of the blue or were you having a fight?"

"We were fighting," Zell answered.

"Then it was just the heat of the moment and odds are she doesn't hate you she was just upset," she explained.

This conversation was already far more productive in two minutes than the five hours he spent with Irvine the night before. He felt better.

"I'm not sure what to do now," Zell admitted.

"Have you tried reaching out to her?" she asked.

"No, Irvine said that her silence was a power play and that I should wait for her to reach out first," Zell admitted.

"Irvine is an idiot," Aliesie really was related to Squall.

"So what should I do?" he asked.

"If you don't mind me asking, what were you fighting about?" she asked tentatively.

"The short version is, she doesn't want me to be a SeeD anymore, and I don't want to quit," he explained. "I was just cleared to return to active duty yesterday and was sent here, she wasn't happy about it, and we left things on rocky ground."

"That's rough," she said. "But unlike what you said last night, you haven't lost control of your life."

"We're technically separated right now," he admitted. "Until we can figure things out."

"A separation isn't a bad thing," she comforted. "It's a good way to find yourself and figure out what you want in your life."

"I guess," he sighed. "I just want thing back the way they were."

"That may never happen," she said bluntly.

"You are such a great comfort, you know that?" he snapped.

"I'm just being honest," she said, "sometimes people just aren't meant to be together forever."

"That's pretty cynical," Zell sneered.

"It's called being realistic," Aliesie bit back. "Look, if you want to try and fix your relationship, you're gonna have to give her some space. Text her and tell her something like, you're sorry for the way you left things, but you think that some space will be better for the both of you in the long run. Tell her where you're staying and that you're willing to talk when she is."

That wasn't what he wanted to here. What little comfort her earlier statements gave him were long gone. He wanted it fixed. He wanted his life back; he wanted to be happy with his wife again.

He was grateful when the food arrived; it was a welcome distraction. He didn't want to talk about it anymore. He didn't want to admit that his marriage was hanging by a thread.

He wondered if it would be so bad to give up life as a SeeD to make his wife happy. It would be a massive pay cut, he wouldn't get to travel as much, but Abbie would be happy. That's all he wanted, wasn't it?

He bought her the house she wanted, the car she wanted and everything else she ever asked for, he gave her. He couldn't do that on an instructor salary. At least not starting out. It would be years before he would be able to make anywhere close to what he made as an A rank SeeD.

On the other hand, Aliesie could be right. Some space could be good for them. They could figure out what they wanted and go from there. It could make them stronger in the long run, or it could break them.

"Are you going to eat?" Aliesie asked, snapping him out of his daze. She had already eaten two of her three meal and was working on the third while his sat there getting cold.

"Yeah," he whispered picking up his fork.

"I'm sure everything will work out for you," she said.

Zell offered a weak smile. At least she was trying to cheer him up after hitting him with the harsh reality of his life.

He took a bite of his food when his phone buzzed in his pocket. He pulled it out to see a text from Irvine.

 _"_ _Where u?"_ was all the message said.

 _"_ _Breakfast with Aliesie,"_ he replied.

Irvine replied with a series of suggestive emoticons. Zell rolled his eyes and pocketed his phone, as soon as he did Aliesie's phone went off.

"Is Irvine texting you too?" Zell asked.

"No, Selene," she answered, "apparently we're doing something scandalous by having breakfast."

"Irvine has an active imagination," Zell defended.

"Obviously," she sighed, rolling her eyes.

"So, what's the deal with those two?" Zell asked, looking for a lighter topic of conversation.

"What do you mean?" Aliesie asked, taking her last bite.

"How did you end involved with the two of them?" he elaborated. "I mean, I know how you and Irvine got connected but how did you meet Selene?"

"She was my roommate in college," Aliesie answered, "I introduced them."

"Do you regret it?" Zell laughed.

"Only when I move," she deadpanned. "He makes her happy, and outside of the obvious annoyances, they're pretty good friends to have."

Zell couldn't argue with that. He didn't know Selene well enough to make a judgment, but Irvine was always on his side.

"I don't know about you, but I have to go," she said standing up. "See you later."

She was out the door before Zell could get a word out. He did offer to pay, but he didn't expect her to eat and run. Now he was stranded again, only this time he didn't have anyone to guide him.

He finished his food, paid the bill and made his way outside where he retrieved his phone from his pocket.

 _"_ _Dude, I'm lost,"_ he texted Irvine.

After a few moments, he got a reply. _"lol."_

The shortly after, a second one; _"Weren't you with Aliesie? She knows her way around."_

 _"_ _She left,"_ he shot back.

 _"_ _haha, where you at? I'll come pick you up."_ Irvine replied _._

Zell texted the name of the café and sat on the curb to wait.

After a few minutes, Zell started to wonder if he should send what Aliesie said to Abbie. She had made a lot of valid points, and he did want to start getting back on track as soon as possible.

He decided it was worth a shot and sent her the text, as soon as he did Irvine pulled up.

"Get in whore, were going shopping," Irvine yelled out the window.

"What?"

"It's from a movie," Irvine explained.

"Never saw it," Zell sighed.

"You're killing me, man," Irvine whimpered.

As soon as Zell was in the car, they were off, and Zell's phone buzzed with a text. It was from Abbie. His heart jumped into his throat as he opened it. It was only one letter, but to him it meant everything.

 _"_ _k."_

"I recommend getting some sleep when we get to my place, we gotta work tonight," Irvine said snapping Zell out of his laser focus on his phone.

"Okay," he replied.

He knew the text wasn't much, but at least she acknowledged him. That was enough for now. He would take this time to rediscover himself like Aliesie suggested.

After they arrived at Irvine's house, Zell quickly made himself comfortable and passed out as soon as he hit the pillow.

Hours later, he was awoken by Irvine with a cup of water to the face.

"Time to work, bro," he laughed.

"Dick," Zell coughed.

Zell slowly pulled himself out of bed and dressed in the black t-shirt and cargo pants he was given and headed downstairs for some much-needed coffee.

"Good morning sunshine," Irvine said cheerfully.

"Fuck you," Zell grumbled.

"You aren't much of a morning person aren't you?" Irvine laughed.

"It's not morning," the martial artist grumbled.

"Why are you so grumpy then?" Irvine asked.

"I had a routine," Zell said sipping his coffee, "a wrench has been thrown in that."

"I guess you'll just have to fix that," the gunman shrugged. "Car leaves in five."

Zell grumbled as he finished the rest of his coffee and followed Irvine to the car.

He was already feeling like he was losing his stamina and it had only been a day and a half since his last run. He needed to figure out a new route quickly so he could get back on his morning runs. Though now they would have to be evening runs since he worked at night now.

The ride to the compound was surprisingly quiet. Irvine didn't say a thing till they arrived at the SeeD building.

"You got your badge?" Irvine asked.

"Yeah," Zell answered.

"Good, you need to scan it to get in and get your stuff," the sharpshooter explained. "Even if someone goes in before you and holds the door you still gotta scan it, they keep a record of everyone who comes and goes."

"Got it," the martial artist assured.

Zell did as Irvine instructed as he entered the building and follow the gunman down to get their equipment. Irvine didn't get a pistol like Zell did, he got a large rifle that could take down an elephant. Of course, that could have been the intended purpose.

"Galbadia is on the outer perimeter," Irvine explained. "Tonight is my turn in the watch tower."

He must have seen the curiosity on Zell's face in regards to the large weapon.

"let's go get you introduced to your team," Irvine added, heading down the hall to the locker room.

The locker room, unlike before, was now full of SeeDs. Some of them, Zell recognized from Garden but didn't know their names.

"Listen up!" Irvine yelled as he entered the locker room. "This is Zell Dincht; he's the new leader of the Balamb team."

Everyone in the room acknowledged him in various ways, Zell nodded back at them and proceeded to get himself equipt with everything he needed for the night.

"Where do I go again?" he asked Irvine.

"The hospital," Irvine answered before heading out the door.

Irvine never showed him where that was. Thankfully, the zoo had signs for everything, so he just followed them. He was sure there was probably a faster way to get there, but he enjoyed walking through the enclosures without other people getting in the way.

The ape enclosure was the last before arriving at the hospital. It was impressive, just like all the other enclosures in the place. He couldn't even see all of it or an ape for that matter. He leaned in a little closer to see if he could find one when one quickly climbed the tree in front of him.

"Hey there," he laughed.

The ape jumped around repeatedly on the branch making a lot of noise in the process. Zell didn't know what was going on with it when out of nowhere the ape threw something at him. The object made contact with his face and knocked him to the ground.

He reached up to cover where he was hit expecting to find just a bump, but he found himself bleeding quite badly. He looked around to see what hit him and saw a rather large, jagged rock laying on the ground.

He'd been bested by an ape with a rock. He got back on his feet and headed for the hospital where he assumed they had to have a first aid kit for humans.

He tried opening the door, but it was locked. He looked around for another entrance and found an id scanner and gave it a try. He was beyond grateful when the door opened for him.

He followed the signs that pointed to the security desk and found a familiar face behind it.

"Any chance you know first aid?" he asked.

Aliesie jumped at the sound of his voice then a shocked look crossed her face when she saw the blood.

"What happened to you?" she asked.

"There's and asshole ape out there," he explained.

"So you met Jeffery," she stated.

"Does he always throw rocks?" Zell asked sitting next to her.

"No, sometimes it's poo," she answered retrieving a first aid kit from the wall. "I'd say you got off lucky."

"Doesn't feel that way," he said with a wince as she dabbed at his face with and alcohol wipe.

She silently tended to his injured face ignoring all his pained sounds. It felt slightly awkward for him having another woman tend to an injury. He had lots of fond memories of Abbie tending to his minor injuries from the training center back in the years they were dating. At least one of those times he'd done it on purpose just to get her attention.

He could have treated the cut himself. He didn't know why he let Aliesie do it, part of him chalked it up to her medical training, even though she was trained to treat animals.

She'd spread some ointment on the cut and covered it with a bandage.

"I don't think you need stitches, but it'll probably leave a scar," she said putting the kit back.

It wouldn't be his first scar and likely far from his last.

"Thanks," he muttered, awkwardly moving his chair a little farther away from her.

"You're welcome," she said reflexively before returning to whatever she was doing when he walked in.

He didn't know what to say to her, but it didn't seem to matter much, she was busy with whatever she was working on. He didn't like the silence though.

"I took your advice," he blurted.

"What advice?" she asked.

"The advice you gave me this morning," Zell clarified.

"I gave you advice this morning?" she asked.

"Yeah, you told me to text my wife and tell her some space apart would be good for us," he said with a laugh.

"If you say so, I was so tired this morning I barely remember going to breakfast with you," Aliesie shrugged.

"Did you not get any sleep last night?" he asked.

"Of course not, Irvine and Selene were in my bed, and you were on my couch. There wasn't anywhere left for me to sleep," she snapped.

"Ah, sorry," he said.

"Why are you apologizing again? It's in the past, and another apology won't change it," she chuckled.

"Sorry," Zell said.

Aliesie just stared at him, waiting for him to realize that he just apologized for apologizing.

"Sorry," he repeated jokingly.

"I don't have to sit here with you," Aliesie joked. "You know that right?"

"Are you going to leave or is it just an empty threat?" he laughed.

Aliesie gathered her things and stood up to leave. She'd gotten almost to the hallway before he stopped her. She returned to the desk and returned to her work. For the next few hours, they both stayed silent.

The longer the night went on, the more bored Zell became. There wasn't anything on the monitors save for the occasion patrolman passing.

Aliesie had more than enough to keep her busy. He glanced over to read what she was writing, but he didn't understand most of what she was writing. He assumed it was something related to the animals. He glanced down at his watch, and he still had four hours left of his shift.

"This is the most boring mission ever," Zell complained, childishly throwing his head back and spinning around in his chair.

"It's only boring because you aren't doing anything," Aliesie sighed.

"I can't do anything if there is nothing to do," Zell groaned, still spinning. "What did the last guy do to pass the time?"

"Started stalking me and caused me to switch shifts erratically to keep him away," she answered flatly.

"Well that's obviously not something I'm going to do," "Zell laughed.

Aliesie chuckled and went back to her work.

"Sooo," Zell started with no idea of how he was going to finish. "What do you do on your days off?"

"I don't take days off," she answered without looking up from her work.

"Why not?" he asked.

"Because I have a stalker," she said.

"I'm not following your logic," Zell said.

"I work nights, so when I have a day off, I'm home alone at night," she sighed. "At least if I'm home during the day I have neighbors that will call the cops if they see someone snooping around."

"So you don't take days off because you don't want to be alone?" he asked.

"Pretty much," she answered.

"Well, how about I hang out with you on your days off?" Zell offered.

"Why?" Aliesie asked.

"Because you helped me this morning, so I'm gonna help you. It's not healthy for you to not take a day off," Zell explained.

"Whatever," was all she said in reply.

"So when's your next day off?" he asked.

"I'm off on weekends," she answered.

"Me too, we'll hang out, and if anyone is lurking around, I can take them out," Zell said cheerfully.

"If you say so," she replied skeptically.

"I'm bringing a board game for us to play tomorrow though," he said.

Aliesie rolled her eyes and went back to her work once again.

The rest of the night was silent. Aliesie's shift ended an hour before Zell's, and it was the longest hour of the night. When the daylight security showed up, he was finally allowed to leave. He darted quickly to the locker room, avoiding the asshole ape, Jeffery, and then darted to Irvine's car to leave.

He set himself an alarm so he could go for a run when he woke up and start a new routine. He crashed as soon as he hit the pillow, he hadn't realized how tiring boredom was before. As he was just about asleep, he swore to himself that he would better himself for his wife. Whatever the cost.

* * *

Yay! chapter 3 is finished! please let me know what you think of it!


	4. Who You Are Without Me

The harsh cry of the alarm pulled Zell from his deep sleep with a start. It had been a long time since he'd ever needed an alarm and he didn't like needing it now.

It was a little after five in the evening when he finally got out of bed and dressed. He headed down the stairs to start some coffee before heading out on his run. He was going to start slow. He knew there was no way he'd be able to go the ten miles he was able to in Balamb. Deling City was a higher altitude, in the evening it was still hot out, so it made running that much more difficult. He committed himself to only do three miles for the time being.

He felt sluggish as he hit the street, he hadn't counted on feeling that slow. He attributed it to the heat and lack of breeze in the city. Balamb was always breezy, even on the hottest days, the breeze was cool. He would just have to get used to the heat.

He was halfway through his run, and he had to take a break. His lungs felt like they were on fire and had to take a seat on the bench outside a nearby park.

Zell was impressed Irvine found a house in such a nice part of town. Deling City real estate wasn't cheap, but Irvine was able to get a great deal for his place.

When his lungs stopped burning he went back to his run and returned to Irvine's place. He did his usual pushups and sit-ups and went to shower. When he finished, he went and got a cup of coffee.

Zell had enjoyed his few minutes of peace before Irving came stumbling down the steps. When he did, Zell already had breakfast made. It was a weird feeling making breakfast food in the evening.

"Zell, has anyone ever told you, you'd make an amazing housewife?" Irvine laughed as he fell into one of the dining room chairs.

"It's possible," Zell admitted sheepishly.

"If you were a woman I'd marry you," Irvine said shoving bacon into his mouth.

"If I were a woman, I wouldn't be the least bit interested in you," Zell replied.

"That's fair," Irvine shrugged.

They ate in silence save for Irvine's loud chewing. It made Zell slightly nauseated watching his sloppiness. It made it easy to see why he and Selphie were no longer together. Selene must not have eaten with him often enough to be grossed out.

"Hey," Zell said getting Irvine's attention, "do you have any board games?"

"I might," Irvine answered, mouth full of food. "Check the hall closet."

Zell nodded and took the opportunity not to see Irvine eat anymore.

Zell searched the closet and found nothing but children's games. He didn't know what he expected, Irvine did have children, and these were likely meant to keep them out of his hair while they were visiting. There was a chess set at least, Zell wasn't very good at chess, but it was better than hungry, hungry hippos.

"What do you need a game for?" Irvine called from the dining room.

"Do you have any idea how boring it is sitting at that security desk all night?" Zell answered walking back into the room.

"Don't you have a vet sitting with you all night?" Irvine chuckled.

"Yeah, but she was working on stuff and not all that talkative," Zell replied.

"She?" Irvine said with a suggestive tone. "Is she hot?"

"It was Aliesie," Zell answered.

"So that's a yes then," Irvine chuckled.

Zell rolled his eyes and headed to the kitchen to clean up after breakfast. He was dressed for work and ready to go he just had to wait on Irvine.

When he was finally ready, they were off to work. Zell got his gear and headed for the security desk, making sure to avoid Jeffery. He didn't want to be hit with a rock again.

The desk was unoccupied this time, so Zell just took his seat and pulled up the security feed. The emptiness of the room combined with the low light level was slightly unsettling. He wasn't afraid of being alone in the dark, but he was in a hospital for large wild animals. There was a chance, however small it was, that one of them escaped and was prowling the halls. He did have his tranquilizer gun, but he wasn't comfortable with his aim. Not only that but most of the time tranquilizers did nothing but irritate the animal till they fell asleep which didn't happen immediately.

A few hours passed, and Aliesie still hadn't arrived at the desk. She'd at least checked in over the radio, so he knew a tiger wasn't eating her. Zell couldn't explain why he was even worrying. She was an adult doing her job, as was he, he was just bored and wanted someone to talk with.

He needed to take a break, he was starving and felt like he was going to pass out from staring at the monitors for so long. He picked up his radio to inform his team he'd be away from the desk for a few minutes and went looking for an employee lounge that hopefully had some coffee.

His prayer for coffee was answered the farther down the hall he got, and the intoxicating aroma hit his nostrils.

"Oh, fuck yes," he muttered on his way into the lounge.

He quickly grabbed a cup and filled it.

"It's pretty good coffee."

Zell jumped at the female voice behind him. He turned and was face to face with Aliesie dressed in light blue scrubs and a white lab coat like the night before.

"Hey," he said awkwardly.

"You're in between me and coffee," she said trying to get him to move.

"Oh, sorry," he said stepping aside. "So where have you been?" he asked checking out the vending machine.

"Working," she answered. "I don't sit at the security desk every night, just on Monday when I need to do paperwork."

That was disappointing. Zell brought the chess set for nothing and was doomed to spend the rest of the night bored.

"So, what do you want to do this weekend?" he asked.

"What do you mean?"

"We're gonna hang out this weekend remember?" he laughed.

"You were serious about that?" she asked shocked.

"Why wouldn't I be?" the SeeD answered, "I could use some time away from Irvine."

"I can't afford to take time off right now," she sighed.

A distressed look crossed his face. Though, he didn't quite know why it bothered him that Aliesie was blowing him off. The more he thought about what she said, the angrier he became.

"It's always just work with you, isn't it?" he snapped, slamming his mug down on the nearby table and storming out.

"Huh?" he heard her response as he headed out the door but didn't bother to answer. He simply returned to his duty.

Hours later he was still angry, but not at Aliesie. He was angry at himself for reacting the way he did.

It wasn't as if she made concrete plans to hang out with him or that she'd even really agreed to it to begin with. 'Whatever' was all she said on the matter. He should have known that whatever really means maybe.

She did just move for the third time. Zell knew from experience that moving wasn't a cheap endeavor and to have to do it three times had to amass a certain amount of debt. Most likely she truly couldn't afford to take time off till she paid it.

The question remained; why had he reacted that way?

It was a question he couldn't seem to answer no matter how much he thought about it. And Zell thought about it till it gave him a headache.

When it was time to leave, he crashed as soon as he hit the pillow.

The rest of the week was a lot of the same. Zell would get up, go for his run, shower, make breakfast, clean up then go to work and be bored out of his mind till it was time to go home. He hadn't seen Aliesie since he snapped in the break room. The longer time went on, the worse he felt about it, he needed a chance to apologize, but he wasn't likely to get it. He didn't have access to the part of the hospital where she worked.

When Saturday came around again, he was off. He wasn't too sure what to do with himself. At home, he had a routine for every day of the week, Saturday's were his days to clean the whole house. Irvine's house was already clean. There was nothing for Zell to do.

"You look lost," Irvine said as he entered the kitchen.

"I don't know what to do with myself," Zell sighed.

"Come see Selene's show with me tonight," Irvine offered.

That wasn't the worst idea Irvine ever had. Zell did need something to do.

"Sure," he agreed.

At least it was something, and it was better than sitting at home bored. He got enough of that at work.

The bar she sang at was much nicer than the dive Irvine liked to frequent. It was well within Irvine's standards though, all they played was country western, and almost everyone in it was dressed as a cowboy/girl.

Irvine led Zell to a table toward the middle of the room and draped his coat over one of the chairs before heading off to the bar. Zell just sat down; he didn't want to drink after what happen the last time.

"This place a little too hoity-toity for me but damn do they have good whiskey," Irvine chuckled handing Zell a glass.

"I wasn't planning on drinking," Zell groaned.

"Then don't drink it," the sniper replied.

Zell rolled his eyes and focused on the empty stage, "when does Selene go on?"

"Not sure," Irvine answered taking a drink, "but you can ask her yourself," he added gesturing to the stage door.

Selene made her way over to them with a smile. Her red hair hung loosely around her face and covered the spaghetti straps of her white tank top, and knee high cowboy boots covered the bottom portion of her torn, light blue, denim jeans.

"You guys made it!" she said cheerfully taking a seat on Irvine's lap.

"Did you think I would miss it?" Irvine asked kissing her cheek.

"When do you go on?" Zell asked, hoping to end the awkward situation he found himself in.

"I go on second in the lineup," She answered cheerfully.

She reminded Zell a little of Selphie, but much less intense. Of course, she could have been just as intense as Selphie; this was only his second time meeting Selene after all and the first time talking to her.

"Aliesie said you two were roommates in college," Zell wasn't very comfortable being the third wheel, so he tried to keep up the conversation to keep them from making it awkward.

"Yup," she answered, "all four years of undergrad."

"What did you study?" he asked but assumed it was likely music.

"Psychology," she answered.

Zell's shocked expression made her laugh.

"Seriously?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'm working on my Ph.D. right now," she smiled.

"Wow, that's…unexpected," Zell replied.

"Why? Aliesie was pre-med and pre-vet in undergrad," she explained.

"Well, yeah but I figured you would have been a music major," Zell said.

"That would have been a recipe for disaster! Could you imagine what finals would have been like?" she laughed.

That hadn't occurred to him. The more Selene explained it, the more it made sense. A music major rooming with a science major was a terrible idea; one would be diligently studying notes or books while the other practices an instrument. It would be torture for the science major.

"If you're getting a Ph.D. in psychology then why are doing this?" he asked, refereeing to singing in a country western bar.

"I can't have a hobby?" she laughed.

She had a point; it never occurred that she had other career goals. Not that Zell knew anything about Selene in the first place.

"I'm surprised Aliesie didn't ride with you guys," Selene said.

"I thought she had to work?" Zell interjected.

"She was going to, but she said she'd come see my show," Selene shrugged.

Was that the reason she blew him off? Selene was her friend, and Zell was only an acquaintance, it made sense Aliesie would choose her over him.

It didn't make him feel much better though.

"So, what are we doing after the show?" Zell asked changing the subject.

"I figured we could all go out to eat or something," Irvine answered.

"Aliesie's here!" Selene announced excitedly waving her friend over to them.

Zell looked over toward the door as did Irvine and saw Aliesie in a knee length black dress with matching heels. Her hair hung loose, but she had it pulled over one shoulder. Zell had to admit, she looked incredible.

"What took you so long?" Selene asked giving Aliesie a hug.

"I'm here now, isn't that what matters?" Aliesie answered.

Selene rolled her eyes and sat back on Irvine's lap. Aliesie took a seat across from Zell and gave him and awkward smile.

"Hey," he said quietly.

"Hey," she replied.

Irvine's glance shifted back and forth between Zell and Aliesie like he was suspicious of something.

"Why are you two acting weird?" he asked taking another sip of his drink.

"Huh?" Zell replied.

"You two act like you had a one night stand," Irvine laughed.

"Dude, I'm married," Zell snapped.

"So? Soccer has a goalie, but that doesn't mean you can't score," Irvine shrugged.

Zell was the only one not surprised by his statement, Selene gave him a sharp slap on his chest and Aliesie got up to leave.

"I'm going to the bar," she groaned.

Selene followed Aliesie to the bar leaving Zell and Irvine alone.

"So, did you guys sleep together?" Irvine asked.

"Of course not!" Zell scoffed.

"Then why are you acting so weird around each other?" Irvine demanded.

"We were gonna hang out this weekend, but she blew me off," Zell sighed.

"So?"

"I kinda overreacted," Zell shrugged.

"How so?" Irvine asked.

"I got mad when she said she had to work and I may have broken a coffee mug," Zell answered.

He felt foolish thinking about it. Aliesie probably thought he was crazy; he would have if the roles were reversed.

"That's kinda fucked up man," Irvine said shaking his head.

"I know," Zell groaned burying his face in his hands.

"Why would you do that?" Irvine laughed.

"I don't know," Zell answered slamming his head on the table.

"She probably thinks you're gonna be her new stalker," Irvine said.

Zell was willing to believe that, he'd made a complete fool of himself and now he didn't know how to fix it. He was afraid that if he tried to simply apologize, he would somehow make things worse.

"I'm such an idiot," Zell sighed.

"Dude, why are you making such a big deal about it? It's not like you want to date her or something, right?"

"Of course not," Zell scoffed.

"Then just go tell her you're sorry," Irvine gestured to the bar.

Why was he making a big deal about it? He wanted to be friends with her, that was all, and he was making himself seem like a lunatic. He didn't even know why he was acting the way he was. It's not like they'd never spent time together before. He'd spent a few days with her when Laguna invited everyone to the presidential palace years ago. They would have likely become great friends back then if it weren't for him having to return to Balamb. Why was it so difficult this time?

Why was he making such a mess of things? Why was he so desperate for her approval? It didn't make any sense, she wasn't his wife, and she was barely his friend so why did it matter?

"I'm gonna head backstage with Selene," Irvine said snapping Zell out of his thoughts. "Try not to make yourself seem crazy this time."

Zell nodded and glanced over at Aliesie at the bar and decided an apology was better than nothing. So he slowly made his way over to her.

"Hey, again," he said sheepishly.

"Hi," she replied, surprised by his presence next to her.

"I owe you an apology for the other day," he sighed. "I don't know why I reacted the way I did and I would completely understand if you didn't want to see me again after that."

"You apologize a lot," she said flatly.

She wasn't wrong about that. He'd apologized to her multiple times every time he'd seen her so far.

"I guess you're right," he said.

"Why?"

That was a good question, one that he was ill-equipped to answer. So, he just shrugged his shoulders.

"You don't need to apologize," she smiled, "granted, your reaction was a little crazy."

"I won't disagree with that," he laughed. "I don't think my reaction had anything to do with you though, honestly," he admitted.

"What was it about then?" Aliesie asked.

"Fuck if I know," he muttered.

"At least you're honest," she chuckled taking a sip of her drink.

"Can I ask you something?"

"What?"

"Why did you tell me you had to work and then show up here?"

"Well, for the sake of honesty, I didn't think it would be appropriate for us to hang out alone," she sighed.

"What do you mean?" he laughed.

"You're married, don't you think it's a little weird to be hanging out with a single woman?" she challenged.

"I'd say under normal circumstances it would be," he replied.

"Are you saying these are abnormal circumstances?" she joked.

"Well, kinda, I mean we've met before, so it's not like were complete strangers, I'm friends with your older brother and your sister-in-law, and one of my best friends is dating your friend," he explained. "It only makes sense that we should be friends too."

She let out a soft chuckle before downing the rest of her drink and requesting another.

"If it would make you more comfortable though, how about we only hang out in group settings like this?" he offered.

She smiled in agreement and downed her second drink.

By the time Selene hit the stage Aliesie was sloshed. She was a giggly drunk and talkative the exact opposite of how she was normally. All through the first band she was dancing in her bar stool and making silly jokes that Zell would have expected from Laguna. The passion in which she delivered them made him laugh harder than the actual joke did.

When Selene hit the stage, Aliesie let out the loudest, highest cheer that Zell had ever heard and rushed up to the stage to cheer on her friend. Zell remained at the bar laughing.

"She's a fun drunk," Irvine chuckled as he slid over next to Zell.

"It makes me wonder what Squall is like drunk." Zell's statement made Irvine realize they had never seen Squall drunk.

Even at each of their bachelor parties, Squall was always the designated driver.

"We need to get him drunk," Irvine was determined to make it happen.

Zell rolled his eyes and took a sip of his glass of water.

"I take it you two made up?" Irvine asked nudging Zell.

"She didn't seem that upset about it," Zell confessed.

"I don't think a lot gets to her," Irvine shrugged, "at least not since Toby started stalking her."

"What's the deal with that?" Zell asked.

"No clue, I think she talks to Selene about it," Irvine shrugged.

"Selene doesn't say anything to you?"

"No, she calls it 'doctor/patient privilege.'"

"You sound bitter, maybe you should talk to Selene about your issues," Zell joked.

"I do," Zell was taken aback by that answer.

"Seriously?" he asked.

"Yeah," Irvine said with a serious tone, "it helps a lot, you might benefit from it."

"I think I'll pass," Zell scoffed.

"Dude, you flipped out on Aliesie the other day," Irvine laughed. "I think it would do you some good to talk to a professional."

"Isn't she still working on her Ph.D.?" Zell snapped back.

"She has a master's and is a licensed counselor," Irvine defended.

"Then what does she need a Ph.D. for?"

"She wants to do the research side of things," Irvine answered quicker than Zell expected. "It's harder to get papers published if you don't have a Ph.D."

Zell responded with a series of barely audible grunts.

"Just think about it, man," Irvine patted Zell on the back before heading up to the stage next to Aliesie.

When Selene finished her set, everyone gathered outside the bar. Aliesie and Irvine were both drunk, but Irvine was much better at staying vertical, even though he was leaning heavily on Selene.

Aliesie almost landed face first on the pavement till Zell caught her.

"You alright, darlin?" Irvine asked with a heavy drawl.

"I'm fiiiine," she slurred draping her arms over Zell's shoulders.

Zell practically had to carry her to her car. He put her gently in the backseat, and she flopped down and passed out.

"I'll get her home," Zell told Selene.

Selene nodded and gave him the address, and he was off.

Aliesie mumbled nonsense from the back seat; he assumed she was just sleeping till she popped up in the rear-view mirror and said: "Aren't you going to answer?"

"Answer what?" Zell laughed.

"Ugh, never mind," she groaned and flopped back down on the seat.

Zell rolled his eyes and continued driving.

Getting her out of the car was more challenging than getting her in. He tried getting her to stand on her own but she just went limp, he had no choice but to throw her over his shoulders. He prayed that no neighbors called the police because of it, it did look suspicious.

"Keys?" he whispered.

She shoved her purse in his hands in response.

He felt awkward digging through her bag; it was something his Ma told him never to do. He didn't even feel comfortable looking through his wife's bag.

Luckily, her keys were right on top of everything else in the bag.

He unlocked the door and was greeted by her two large dogs, excited that their master was home.

"Shoes off," Aliesie mumbled.

He assumed she was referring to him, so he kicked them off before setting her gently on the bottom of the staircase. He started to help her get her shoes off, but she pushed him away and did it herself. She was sobering up a little.

"Dogs need out," she sighed leaning against the banister. "Backyard," she gestured to the kitchen.

Zell headed to the sliding glass door and opened it. The dogs dashed out quickly, did their business and came right back inside.

"Can you get up on your own?" Zell asked.

"Let's find out," she giggled, staggering to her feet.

She slowly turned and headed up the stairs. Zell followed to make sure she didn't fall backward. She made her way to her bedroom and flopped face first on her bed.

Zell laughed, then rolled her to the far side, pulled back the covers and rolled her back so he could cover her. Both dogs jumped onto the bed and laid close to Aliesie.

"Goodnight," Zell whispered.

"Zell," Aliesie mumbled, "you're a good guy. Your wife is lucky to have you," with that, she was out.

He hadn't realized how badly he needed to hear something like that till he heard it. It was nice to feel appreciated.

He headed back downstairs and decided it was probably best to crash on her couch. Irvine and Selene were likely defiling Irvine's place, and he didn't want to hear that all night. Not only that, but he wanted to make sure Aliesie was okay. She'd said she was worried about being home alone at night.

He didn't get much sleep, and he woke up with aches all over. He remembered Aliesie's couch being more comfortable the last time. The sun was shining right on his face, and he pulled himself into a sitting position with a groan.

The dogs must have forgotten his presence as his groan caused them to bark and run down the stairs.

Zell was a little paranoid they would attack him since they were trained for security, but once they caught his scent, they relaxed.

"You guys want out?" he asked them. Both dogs got excited and ran to the door waiting for Zell to open the door.

Unlike the night before they took the time to enjoy the sunshine of the morning.

Zell felt his stomach grumble, he could have made himself some food but felt weird making himself that at home in someone else's kitchen. At Irvine's they had an agreement that Zell would do all the cooking in exchange for a free room. Zell insisted on it; he felt awkward just accepting his invitation to stay.

Coffee was doable. He found the coffee maker with ease, the grounds, on the other hand, were a little more difficult.

As it turned out she didn't have any, she did have beans and a grinder. Zell started grinding the beans when Aliesie appeared in the doorway. Her makeup smeared across her face and her comforter wrapped around her body.

"Good morning," Zell yelled over the grinder.

"I hate you right now," she mumbled climbing onto a barstool at the counter.

"Sorry," Zell laughed, turning the grinder off.

Aliesie's face fell and lost all color, for a moment, Zell thought she might throw up.

"D-did, did anything…happen last night?" she stammered.

 _Was she that drunk?_ Zell thought.

"You got pretty drunk at the bar last night," Zell laughed.

"We didn't… you know," she couldn't seem to bring herself to finish her thoughts.

"What are you talking about?" Zell asked, "are you asking if we slept together?"

Her face turned beet red as she pulled the blanket over her head.

"Did we?!" The comforter muffled her shriek.

Zell found her reaction slightly humorous mainly since he couldn't tell if she was upset about it or just embarrassed.

"No, we didn't," he chuckled, turning on the coffee maker. "I slept on your couch."

She slowly pulled the blanket off her head, her face still flushed.

"Why did you spend the night?" she whispered.

"It was late, and you said you didn't like being home alone at night," he shrugged. "Coffee mugs?"

Aliesie gestured to one of the cupboards and Zell retrieved a mug for each of them.

"So, you stayed?" she couldn't seem to wrap her mind around it.

"Yup," he smiled.

"Thanks, I guess," she muttered.

"You're welcome," he replied.

"So, uh, what are you going to do now?" she asked sheepishly.

"I dunno," Zell shrugged. "I might rent a movie on my way back to Irvine's."

"What movie?"

Zell narrowed his eyes, slightly confused, was she trying to make small talk?

He shrugged; "maybe 'Fists of Fury Five' it's a classic."

"Fists of Fury Five?" she asked with a disgusted look. "I think you have to update your definition of 'classic' that movie is terrible."

"What are you saying? It's the best in the franchise!" Zell said enthusiastically.

"No, it's the worst, 'Fists of Fury Three, Triple Fist' was the best in plot and character development. Not to mention the action scenes look real. Everything after was complete garbage," she explained.

Zell stared at her in disbelief; he'd never had someone challenge him on the quality of the series before. Most everyone just took his word for it, likely because no one else cared for the franchise like he did.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" she asked.

"Did we just become best friends?" he asked excitedly.

"Did we?"

"I'm going out to rent all eight movies, and we're going to have a marathon!" he said, quickly grabbing his coat and running out the door.

"What just happened?" she whispered.

* * *

I know what you're thinking, "two chapters in one week?! you haven't done that since you first started writing I'll Be Your Knight!"

It's shocking I know, but don't worry, I'm not a sorceress or anything. I just got a new laptop and I can finally write from my couch. Hopefully, I can keep up this streak. Anyway, let me know what you think of the chapter or just the story overall!


	5. Fun House

It'd been a little over a month since Zell stormed out of his home.

In that time, he'd come no closer to finding a way to fix his marriage. It didn't help that he hadn't heard from his wife since he promised to better himself for her.

He didn't know where to begin. All he did was sit at a security desk in a zoo a watch monitors almost every night, at least the weekends weren't boring. They would have been had it not been for Aliesie's company. Irvine was only ever focused on his girlfriend, Selene.

Aliesie thankfully, had a fair amount of similar interests to Zell and the two quickly became something close to best friends.

They tried only spending time together in group settings but Irvine and Selene would always run off to be alone somewhere leaving Zell and Aliesie behind. It was infuriating, to say the least, but Zell was grateful to not have to see them groping one another the entire time. It just became easier not to bother with group functions.

So, they did things that friends would do, indoor rock walls, paintball, chocobo races and lots of other activities. They never did the same thing twice, another of Aliesie's rules. Zell thought it was strange but then it occurred to him that it was all about making sure her stalker couldn't find her easily.

It was the same reason she went back to the day shift at the Zoo. A decision that left Zell extremely bored every night.

Tonight, wasn't much different except for being stuck with an annoying intern. He tried his best to make conversation with the guy but they had nothing in common to discuss. All he cared about was sports and going to clubs, from what little Zell got from him was that he enrolled in the veterinary program just to meet women.

A few times he felt the need to explain his ranking system for the female vets and other interns at the Zoo. All it did was make Zell want to punch him in the face.

It also made him much more anxious to be done with this boring mission.

"Any plans this weekend?" Zell couldn't remember his name but was shocked that he decided to take interest in what Zell did in his free time. More than likely it was just an attempt to talk about his own plans.

"I have field training," Zell answered after a moment.

"Sounds boring," the intern laughed. "wouldn't you rather hang out with your girlfriend?"

"First, I have a wife, not a girlfriend and of course I'd rather spend time with her but she's back in Balamb. Second, I don't have a choice in doing the field training, it's part of being a SeeD," Zell explained.

"But I thought you and Dr. Crowley were a thing?"

"Aliesie and I are just friends," Zell snapped.

"So, she's single then?" he asked suggestively.

"I don't think you're her type," Zell rolled his eyes.

"what do you care? You aren't together," he laughed.

"She's still my friend," Zell defended.

Why was he entertaining this topic? Aliesie's love life was nobody's business, not Zell's and especially not this guy's. Zell still couldn't recall his name. The entire conversation made him look forward to having to spend the weekend in the woods with Irvine.

The hours continued to drag as Zell tried his best to tune out the intern. When the time came for him to finally leave he darted out the door as fast as he could.

He'd been on missions where he could end up dead with one wrong step but they weren't as mentally draining as sitting and staring at security footage.

He sat in the car for a few minutes to unwind a bit before heading out. He wasn't ready to deal with Irvine yet. Though he needed to pack he was going to spend time away from the house for at least a few hours. He started the car after checking the time, he would be able to hang out with Aliesie for a little while before she had to start her shift.

* * *

He arrived in front of Aliesie's house within a few minutes. Traffic that early in the morning was almost nonexistent.

Zell knocked loudly wondering if she was even awake yet. Her curtains were closed tightly, it wasn't unusual but normally one of the dogs had his head peeking out watching pedestrians passing by.

He knocked again and riled up the dogs, he could hear them bounding down the stairs barking and throwing a fit. Soon after he heard Aliesie's heavy footsteps coming down the stairs. She calmed the dogs before whipping the door open and giving Zell the dirtiest look.

"I want to scrape your face off with a spoon," She growled. "That would bring me the utmost joy right now."

"Sounds like you need some coffee," Zell laughed.

"What I need is sleep," Aliesie hissed.

"I think you need to turn that frown upside down!" Zell reached out and tried to push up the corners over her mouth but his hand was quickly slapped away.

"Why are you here this early?" she groaned.

"I don't want to deal with Irvine yet," Zell sighed.

"So, you decided to bother me at five in the morning?" she jabbed.

"You make it sound worse than it is," Zell defended.

"You came to my house unannounced and woke me up at five in the morning," she argued. "It's exactly as bad as it sounds."

"Sorry."

"And you didn't even bring me coffee to make up for it!" she scoffed finally letting him inside.

"I can make some," he offered.

"That doesn't make me not want to scrape your face off," she bit back.

"What if I make breakfast too?"

"…I suppose your face can stay where it is then."

Zell laughed as he pulled ingredients out of the fridge. She was a bit of a drama queen in the morning.

"I figured you would be awake already," Zell said grabbing a frying pan. "Don't you have work?"

"I took the weekend off," Aliesie yawned. "I have job interviews in Esthar."

This was news to Zell. As far as he knew Aliesie was planning on staying at the zoo. He didn't know what to say about it.

"You seem confused," she laughed.

"I just… I don't know, I thought you liked your job at the zoo," he shrugged.

"I do, but it's just a residency. I don't even know if I want to work exclusively with exotic animals. I might want to work exclusively with pets."

She had a point, she had so many options ahead of her when it came to her career. Zell found himself feeling envious.

"Well, good luck then," he smiled halfheartedly.

"Are you ok?"

He hated how easy he was to read sometimes. Aliesie seemed better at it than most others, or she was just the only one who questioned him regularly about it. Sometimes it was nice but then there were times like this when he didn't want to admit his jealousy.

"I'm fine."

"You're lying," she said, casually taking a sip of her coffee.

"Will you make fun of me if I tell you the truth?" he asked, putting a plate in front of her.

"That depends on what you tell me," she laughed.

He narrowed his eyes and weighed his options.

"You're going to make fun of me," he sighed putting the pan in the sink.

"I can make fun of you either way," she smiled. "Just think about that."

"Fine," he growled. "I'm… a little jealous."

He looked sheepishly at the counter waiting for her mockery.

"I don't see what you could possibly be jealous of, my crippling debt? Having a stalker? The fact that I had to change my last name just to be taken seriously?"

"You have all these opportunities ahead of you and I've only got two options to choose from," he sighed.

"What makes you think you only have two choices? Maybe, you only want to see two options. If you don't like those options, find another."

"It's not that simple," he murmured.

"When you look at things objectively you'll find most thinks are much simpler than most people want to believe," she said crossing her arms. "If you don't like your job, find another, if you don't like where you live, move, if you aren't happy in a relationship…end it."

"Not all of us can take emotion out of the equation like you can," he growled.

"Taking emotions out is the only way to be truly pragmatic," she reasoned.

"How do you expect me to do that? She's my wife, we built a life together, I can't just give that up!" Zell shouted.

"I don't understand why you're getting so upset," Aliesie calmly relied taking a sip of coffee.

"Because you're basically telling me to give up on my marriage!" he yelled.

"I didn't say that at all," she chuckled, "I said if you're not happy in a relationship you should end it. You jumped to the conclusion of ending your marriage."

Zell glared at Aliesie. He was too angry to come up with a well-formed response. He wanted to leave but couldn't bring himself to.

"Look, I know there is no such thing as a perfect marriage and there are going to be some bad times, but those bad times shouldn't outweigh the good," she explained softly.

"They don't," he snapped. "Sometimes it's just hard to see the good times when you're in one of the bad times," he explained forcing himself to be calm.

Aliesie's face fell. She pitied him. Of course she would, his life was something that should be pitied. That didn't make him any less resentful of her for it.

"I just…I don't know what to do," he said.

"Maybe you should go talk to her," Aliesie offered.

"I can't, I've got field training with Irvine this weekend," Zell sighed.

"Skip it," Aliesie chuckled.

"I can't skip it, its mandatory," Zell grumbled.

"I'm fairly certain that if you explain things to Irvine he will cover for you."

Zell narrowed his eyes as he weighed the options. On the one hand he would love nothing more than to see his wife and clear the air but on the other he had a duty to fulfill. If he ran into Squall while at home, he could end up in serious trouble.

Aliesie was correct in her assumption that Irvine would likely cover for him while he was away.

"I can't," Zell sighed.

"You know its ok to be rebellious sometimes, right?" she laughed.

"Not when it could cost me my job," Zell grumbled pouring himself a cup of coffee. "I just got off suspension."

"Suspension?"

"I'm fairly certain I told you about that," Zell sighed.

"If you did, I don't remember," she laughed.

"What a wonderful friend you are," Zell sneered. "I have to go get ready," he sighed.

"Have fun," Aliesie chuckled as she rolled her eyes.

"Don't you have to pack for Esthar?" he asked.

"Not really, I'm staying with my parents and I've got clothes at their place," she said as she took another sip of coffee.

"Must be nice," Zell mumbled.

"Not really," she sighed. "I get to spend all weekend dealing with my mother asking me when I'm going to get married and give her some grandkids."

"If it helps, my mother asks me the same thing, except for the getting married part," he laughed.

Aliesie rolled her eyes and stood up. "Go see your wife," she said as she headed for the stairs.

Zell sighed loudly while making his way for the front door, as he turned the know his phone buzzed in his pocket with a text from Irvine.

" _Aliesie told me to tell you to go see your wife."_

"Seriously?" he called up the steps.

"Just do it," she yelled back.

* * *

Zell sat nervously bouncing his knee in the SeeD cabin of the train. He hadn't been this nervous since his wedding day not just because he was going to be surprising his wife, but he was also worried that he would get caught not doing his duty.

His heart felt like it was going to jump out of his chest as the train pulled into the Balamb station.

He took a deep breath as he stepped off the train, checking to make sure there wasn't any Garden administrative staff around that would recognize him. He quickly darted to the exit and down the street stopping briefly at a flower cart to buy Abbie a bouquet of cordelias. Her favorite.

He strolled slowly down his street as the sun sank below the horizon, thinking of ways to surprise her. If she was home, she was most likely in the living room watching tv or eating dinner. He could go in trough the French doors in their bedroom from the back yard.

How would she react? Would she be angry that he didn't tell her he was coming? Would she be happy to see him?

He glanced in the windows to see where she was in the house before opening the gate to the back yard. She wasn't in the living room and the curtains were drawn in the bedroom. Probably watching tv in there or she simply wasn't home.

Zell took a deep breath as he dug the keys from his pocket and unlocked the door. He opened the door as quietly as he could but when he stepped inside his heart fell to his knees.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" he yelled.

"Zell! What are you doing here?" Abbie screamed breathlessly.

"I FUCKING LIVE HERE!" his hands started shaking with rage.

He couldn't believe what he walked in to. His wife, in bed with another man. In hindsight it was something he should have seen, the late nights, the weekends, it all made sense.

He didn't know what to do, part of him wanted to murder the man currently fucking his wife, another part wanted to storm out and never come back. He opted for neither option and just threw the flowers at them and went to the kitchen to find some alcohol.

A few minutes after Zell poured his drink the young man, who couldn't have been more than twenty-one scurried out of the bedroom. His eyes focused on the floor as he desperately tried to tidy his disheveled brown hair. When he reached the front door, he turned to Zell and offered a sympathetic look.

Zell had to resist the urge to beat him to a bloody pulp.

"You're home early," Abbie said casually as she jumped up to sit on one of the bar stools across the kitchen island from Zell.

"I came to surprise you," Zell grumbled as he downed the rest of his drink. "Looks like I'm the one who got the surprise."

"Don't do that," she glared.

"Don't do what? Feel hurt that I walked in on my wife with another guy while I was in another country earning a living, so I could provide for her?" he spit.

"I asked you to stay," she growled.

"So, you get back at me by fucking another guy in my bed?" he yelled.

"No," she choked as she started to cry. "It wasn't like that."

"Then what, Abbie? What possible reason could you have to cheat on me?" Zell's voice strained as he tried his best to fight back tears of his own.

"Because it doesn't feel like you actually love me," She spat.

"How could you think that? Everything I've done I've done for you!" he yelled.

"That's exactly it, you say you did everything for me, but I didn't want any of this!"

Zell was dumbstruck, he didn't know what to say so he just walked into the living room and sat on the couch and buried his face in his hands.

"I didn't want this house," she started. "All I wanted to do was look at it but you, you met with the realtor and bought it without telling me. You tell me you want to stay a SeeD so that I can use my paycheck for spending money and do whatever I want with it, then you make me feel guilty anytime I buy a new outfit or anything that I like."

"That's not true," he whispered.

"Everything I said I wanted you would just brush it off and do whatever you thought was best," she cried.

"I did what I thought would make you happy."

"Well, I'm not," she sobbed. "You love being a SeeD more than you love me. You love the idea of having a wife waiting for you when you get back from your adventures with a hot meal waiting for you on the table and kids playing in the back yard."

"Tell me how to fix it," he whispered.

"I don't think we can," she said wiping away the tears. "I don't think I want to, I think we'll be better off apart."

"I think you should leave," he said calmly after a silence that seemed to last an eternity.

"This is my house too."

"You said yourself you didn't want this house," he accused.

"That doesn't change the fact that I still live here!"

"And I'm not the one who cheated!" he yelled. "Go stay with your boyfriend."

"I'm not leaving," she said crossing her arms defiantly.

"GET OUT!" he screamed.

She jumped at his thunderous voice before angrily going to the bedroom and packing a bag.

He slumped back into the couch and felt his entire body go numb, everything happened so quickly that his mind could barely catch up.

He didn't know how long he sat and stared at the wall, he didn't even hear the door slam as Abbie left or her car pulling out of the driveway. He just sat and stared.

What was he supposed to do now? His entire life had completely fallen apart.

All he had was a house full of Abbie. She may not have wanted the house, but it didn't stop her from making it her own. He was never allowed to hang up any decoration he wanted, he didn't have a say in the furniture or appliances. She picked the carpet, the wallpaper, the countertops, the color of the house, everything.

In that moment he hated all of it, everything in the bedroom most of all and he wanted it all gone.

He didn't remember getting off the couch and walking to the bedroom, but that's where he found himself. Filled with rage he pulled the mattress off the box spring and threw it out the door into the back yard, then he went back to the living room and picked up every piece of furniture he could lift by himself and threw it in a pile on top of the mattress.

When the pile was big enough for his satisfaction he returned to the kitchen and retrieved a bottle of lighter fluid and matches, drenched the pile and lit it.

As he watched it burn he contemplated what to do next, He did still have a month left of his mission in Galbadia, but what did it matter? His reason for doing anything destroyed him. What was there left to fight for?

He pulled his phone from his pocket and saw a text from Aliesie.

" _How did it go?"_

Rage filled him once again. If it weren't for Aliesie he would still have a wife, his marriage could have been fixed. He wouldn't be feeling this pain.

" _I hate you,"_ he replied before throwing his phone in the fire.

* * *

Sorry that it took me over a year to finish this! Last year, I had pregnancy brain that wouldn't let me focus on anything and this year I have a baby that wouldn't let me focus on anything for quite some time! I'm glad that I finally got to this point in the story, its not as long as I initially planned but oh well. As always reviews are appreciated!


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